WARNING: the contents herein may cause some feminists to vomit

i'm realizing more than ever how much i need time to myself. for the last several weeks, i have had my life all planned out, with social engagements, road trips, and activities up the wazoo. i thought it would be fine....i was wrong. for the last few days, i've been feeling like a captive of my own existence. i need some emotional fresh air.

opens the window...

ahh....a bit better.....

i'm sitting here in the basement at michael's parents house. i must say - we are making good progress. we should be done by tonight or tomorrow at the latest. i can't believe the time has really come for him to be out of here. all the months and months of praying finally coming to fruition. exciting. a bit scary, even....but mostly exciting (primarily for him, i am sure!). anyway, it will be exceedingly nice to have him living a few blocks away, even if he is going to be out of pocket quite a bit of the time with gigs and lessons down here. no matter - at least his postal address is baltimore....or at least anywhere but here.

a truth i learned early after graduation from college: you really can't go home again. or at least you shouldn't. we aren't meant to re-enter the womb upon exiting, after all....'home' is a nice place to visit, but i wouldn't want to live there...that kind of thing.

i have dust in my nose and i've managed to pull a muscle in my back from stretching around with boxes and such, but other than that, i will emerge from this week unscathed. we've had fun together, knowing when to give each other space to do our own thing for a time....we ALL need that! i feel like a few things have solidified in my mind over the last several days:

1. michael is a genuinely caring person. he is ALL about making sure that the details - things that i am concerned about - are all covered. he is thoughtful and conscientious. i knew this about him already, but living with someone for more than a day really brings out how they actually are, as opposed to the good behavior they put on for short-term visits:)....

2. men and women need each other. this goes without saying and is true in a variety of ways, but i'm talking purely practical matters here. most men are unconcerned with whether or not their sock drawer is organized. they do not pay nearly as much attention to whether or not they need new t-shirts. these are tasks that they LIKE to have done for them - along with laundry and other traditionally domestic things. don't get me wrong - there are plenty of domesticated men out there (michael is one of them), but at the end of the day, these activities are NOT how most men would choose to spend their time (perhaps some women wouldn't either, but i'm speaking in generalities). on the flip side, women tend to not be very strong (in comparison to their male counterparts) and aren't really into things like grills and tools and killing bugs. having a man around who can haul stuff and pump your gas and fix things for you is simply a BEAUTIFUL thing. and at the end of the day, when you get down to it, the ways in which men and women complement each other are simply awesome. it's clear that God designed our minds, and bodies, differently for a reason.

3. i do NOT ever want an animal in my house. i am really quite allergic, at this point in my life, to all things feline and many things canine as well. but beyond that, i hate hair and poop and vomit and having to worry about whether they are being fed and walked and bathed and all of that. children are better, frankly, because at least they can talk back to you once they're old enough, and they're a joy, even in times of trial. animals? i can do without them running around in my domicile.

i am certain that there are more things, but these are what come to mind at first thought. there's probably someone out there who thinks i'm being extremely sexist, etc. oh well. this is the way that i feel. i'm glad to be a woman (most days) and i'm glad that men are who they are. if we didn't all spend so much time trying to be what we're not, life would be simpler and more streamlined overall.

just my 2 cents. it's not PC and it won't ever be....hold your breath no longer.