shiny, happy people

it's amazing to me that one simple conversation can change one's entire perspective on an issue, a relationship, whatever....i admit that i am far too typically making assumptions based on negative perceptions i have of myself that i am certain other people share. did that make sense?

i was talking with a dear friend of mine yesterday, and she remarked to me that she is not an optimistic person, that she rarely thinks things will go well. in fact, she has recently been feeling rather positively about something in her life, and she knows it must be God speaking to her, because the chances of her own heart and mind coming up with such information are slim at best. for some reason, it dawned on me in that moment that i am precisely that way about a lot of things. i've had people tell me before that i'm a pessimist, and i always tried to reassure them that, in actuality, i am simply realistic. i'm fairly certain that this is true; however, i must say that even realists have their moments of optimism, right? if that's the case, then i'm still lacking in that 'positive' vibe.

it's an issue of trust, really. i'm still trying to really learn and live the truth about who God is and who He says i am to Him....trying to understand it in a way that goes past my brain and engages my heart, effecting real, lifelong change. along the road, though, i try to trust God as much as i can but remain honest about the reality of humanity and the bad choices many people make. i have always been a fan of breaking things down and calling them by name. this, i am sure, will never change....

update, 2:30 a.m.
because i am posting this entry in 2 separate installments (the first one got interrupted by din-din), i must say that i FINALLY worked out again. man, i'm wiped! it probably wasn't the brightest thing for me to do this at 1:00 a.m., but i knew that if i didn't go then, another day would go by without me moving my butt....believe you me, my butt needs moving!

anyway, i didn't do a full workout, but i came close, and perhaps within a day or so, i'll be back up to snuff. now, i'm off to shower and bed, because morning comes sooner than i would want, and i need to be out the door by 9:45.

g'night all:)