meatloaf makes me happy

no, i'm not talking about the overaged 'singer'.....i'm speaking of that old dinnertime favorite.

sj and i went grocery shopping this afternoon. i have not been inside the grocery store since LATE SUMMER (i kid you not. we have been surviving on 7-11 fare and anything sammie can pick up while out on one of her jaunts-on-foot....

anyhoo....i digress....so we brought a car-full of groceries home, i cleaned out the fridge, rearranged the cabinets, and then made some dinner - which included the aforementioned loaf of meat....some baked potatoes....veggies....it felt SO good to be productive in that way - to cook for someone else....to make something with my own two hands that pleased another person. such a different feeling than yesterday, which was all about regret and disappointment.....fear and frustration.....dismay and melancholy.

life is definitely a bit edgy right about now....i'm having a LOT of trouble relaxing...sleeping....resting of any kind at night.....so until further notice, i'm taking some sleeping aids. nothing crazy. just a little excedrin pm to smooth things over. i'd rather be asleep than freaking out any day....

so....there you have it: cooking and sleepy pills....don't worry, people. i haven't lost it. i just figure - if these things will keep the crying jags at a minimum, who am i to complain?