my head is a jumbled mess. i'm not kidding when i say that there are literally 13 different trains of thought all trying to run full speed ahead through there right now. and you know what? i'm not even sure i have enough track cleared for one good one. i feel burned to ash. i'm really not sure that i have much more to contribute to the GNP (or anything else) at the moment.
will i be all right? sure. i'll be fine. i always am. but it's going to take more than a weekend to make me that way. ever since the spring when i completed my horrendously demanding marketing course, i have felt like i'm nowhere near the top of my game. it's affecting me in every area of my life, and i hate the way that feels. and what's worse - i don't feel like i have the resources to get myself out of this place, because sometimes there is nothing more that can be done but to let things grind to a halt for awhile and just rest.
the funny thing is that i've been greedy with my free time of late and have basically been doing a whole lot of nothing (or so it seems) and yet NONE of it has helped. this is how i know that it's time for something more drastic to occur.
so, unless something changes before august 25 and some spring magically re-enters my proverbial step, i'm leaning heavily in the direction of taking a term off from school. eight weeks. it might just make all the difference. i hope it does, because i can't go another year feeling this thinly spread. i just can't.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
even the queen of england....
as of this monday, i started a new course - accounting for business management. sounds interesting in a way - something i might be able to use at some point.....except for one thing: the entire book and all materials? in british POUNDS. people, i ask you - who even uses those things anymore?
anyway, i'm annoyed about this - and what's more, i have some assignment that i have to complete this week that has no due date on it. um, hello? is anybody out there?
so, all of that to say i'm in a fabulous mood about school right now.
at least today is the halfway mark of the week; this weekend my folks drive up and we have a mini b-day celebration for me and my mom (hers is june 26, mine is july 1). we're going to see a play at a local theatre, have some dinner, hang out. should be good times...
between now and then, however, it's all about number crunching and trying to figure out whether my inherent love for all things british can carry me through this one. perhaps if it gets rough, i shall just lie back and think of england. that usually works for me....
anyway, i'm annoyed about this - and what's more, i have some assignment that i have to complete this week that has no due date on it. um, hello? is anybody out there?
so, all of that to say i'm in a fabulous mood about school right now.
at least today is the halfway mark of the week; this weekend my folks drive up and we have a mini b-day celebration for me and my mom (hers is june 26, mine is july 1). we're going to see a play at a local theatre, have some dinner, hang out. should be good times...
between now and then, however, it's all about number crunching and trying to figure out whether my inherent love for all things british can carry me through this one. perhaps if it gets rough, i shall just lie back and think of england. that usually works for me....
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
comfort me
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as of sunday, i've been reading this book, and i have to say - i love it. so much, in fact, that i almost don't want to finish reading it, because then i won't be able to look forward to the next page, and the page after that, and so on. i hate the thought of endings, sometimes.what i also can say is that now i want to own all of ruth reichl's books, and i'm quite sure that i will delight in each page of those memoirs as i have with this one.
i've realized that delicious words satisfy a hunger like nothing else can. perhaps that's why i like blogs so much. the ones that are well-crafted give me a hit....a little something to munch on as i go about the business of my life. and even if i don't know the person first-hand, his or her life somehow becomes a part of mine in the way that a character in a good book squeezes itself into the crevices of my heart and mind.
writing opens us up; it teaches us; it connects us in our humanity. this is partly why i chose to work in a field that allows me to spend my day with words on a page (or a screen, as the case may be). i am comforted in the midst of the chaos by the apt turn-of-phrase, the clear exposition, the question or statement that makes you think to yourself yes, that's it exactly!
today one of my bosses asked me what i love most about my job. there are several things, actually - the opportunity to impact others' educational experiences, the chance to learn almost constantly. but the best thing for me are those moments where true collaboration takes place...where i can sit with a colleague and tease the meaning out of a convoluted paragraph or awkwardly written phrase, figure out how to make it flow (AND capture the statement's true intent), and then sit back and enjoy what we've created together. when it works well, it's a beautiful thing.
enough about work, though. tonight, after slogging through some homework and watching another addictive reality tv program, i shall return to my little book, sink under the covers, and let the words take me where they will. i'm all too happy to follow along for as long as i can.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
two weeks' notice
so, two weeks from today i will turn 33. to be honest, i'm kind of excited about the identical double digit thing (although i'm not sure why). in preparation for turning another year older, i have been thinking some thoughts about what i want for myself in my 34th year of life. and with that, i present you with the following list:
1. although i am in grad school and feel like my homework and accompanying reading are always weighing heavily on my mind, i really want to broaden my scope a bit. in the last year, a number of my friends have moved out of town or, for whatever reason, out of the landscape (harder to see one another, busy schedules, etc.) and in some cases, this has been a hard pill to swallow. don't get me wrong. far-away friends are still friends, but it's hard not to be able to grab coffee or sit in the same room for a few hours on a regular basis. i've made one or two local friends at my new job, one of whom has become really important to me - a great thing. but i think it's good to build one's friend and acquaintance base to a comfortable place, and i'm not quite there yet. relationships really ARE key, after all, so it makes sense that this is #1.
2. again, time can be a difficulty, but i really don't want it to limit me from doing some service/volunteer work this year. it's really important to me to get out there and (in whatever way i can) make a difference in the lives of those who don't have the means to do better for themselves. i may have found one or two opportunities that sound promising, and my company even lets us take up to 8 hours of work time to do volunteer work each year. love that!
3. in the last several months, stress has definitely taken a toll on me physically, and i've recently discovered that my skin has become incredibly sensitive to things that never used to bother me before (a very mild lip balm). i'm really trying to limit anything scented from coming near me these days, and i'm staying away from alcohol as much as possible. oh, and then there's sleep. i need more of it. and vegetables? them, too. i'm trying. i really am. cook more. eat out less. get back on a healthier track for myself. it can happen this year. i'm believing for that.
4. anyone who knows me well knows that i love a road trip and being able to explore new places. in 2007, i managed to get myself onto airplanes TWICE and even saw the pacific ocean for the first time (it wasn't nearly as magical as i was hoping it would be somehow. and it smelled quite a bit, but i digress....). LA and chicago were both graced with my presence for a few days, and in the coming year, i hope to visit some other new-to-me locations (other than pittsburgh, of course) and see what kind of adventure i can drum up.
5. i'm paying off non-school debt, slowly but surely. this time next year, i hope to be much closer to that goal than i am now. 'nuff said.
that's about all for now. i know that these are some pretty important areas to focus on, and i think it's good to make time for all of them. in between the work, i hope to live it up, relax, sing more, and savor what there is to savor. and knowing this world and all the people in it, that's a lot.
1. although i am in grad school and feel like my homework and accompanying reading are always weighing heavily on my mind, i really want to broaden my scope a bit. in the last year, a number of my friends have moved out of town or, for whatever reason, out of the landscape (harder to see one another, busy schedules, etc.) and in some cases, this has been a hard pill to swallow. don't get me wrong. far-away friends are still friends, but it's hard not to be able to grab coffee or sit in the same room for a few hours on a regular basis. i've made one or two local friends at my new job, one of whom has become really important to me - a great thing. but i think it's good to build one's friend and acquaintance base to a comfortable place, and i'm not quite there yet. relationships really ARE key, after all, so it makes sense that this is #1.
2. again, time can be a difficulty, but i really don't want it to limit me from doing some service/volunteer work this year. it's really important to me to get out there and (in whatever way i can) make a difference in the lives of those who don't have the means to do better for themselves. i may have found one or two opportunities that sound promising, and my company even lets us take up to 8 hours of work time to do volunteer work each year. love that!
3. in the last several months, stress has definitely taken a toll on me physically, and i've recently discovered that my skin has become incredibly sensitive to things that never used to bother me before (a very mild lip balm). i'm really trying to limit anything scented from coming near me these days, and i'm staying away from alcohol as much as possible. oh, and then there's sleep. i need more of it. and vegetables? them, too. i'm trying. i really am. cook more. eat out less. get back on a healthier track for myself. it can happen this year. i'm believing for that.
4. anyone who knows me well knows that i love a road trip and being able to explore new places. in 2007, i managed to get myself onto airplanes TWICE and even saw the pacific ocean for the first time (it wasn't nearly as magical as i was hoping it would be somehow. and it smelled quite a bit, but i digress....). LA and chicago were both graced with my presence for a few days, and in the coming year, i hope to visit some other new-to-me locations (other than pittsburgh, of course) and see what kind of adventure i can drum up.
5. i'm paying off non-school debt, slowly but surely. this time next year, i hope to be much closer to that goal than i am now. 'nuff said.
that's about all for now. i know that these are some pretty important areas to focus on, and i think it's good to make time for all of them. in between the work, i hope to live it up, relax, sing more, and savor what there is to savor. and knowing this world and all the people in it, that's a lot.
Monday, June 16, 2008
all wrapped up
i should be sleeping right now, and i am quite tired, but i got myself into a book that i haven't been able to put down! i'm reading one of ruth reichl's books, comfort me with apples. it's really engaging and delightfully foodie-ish. it's the first pleasure reading i've done in ages, and it's making me wistful for the days when i'll have hours of time to spend doing whatever i want!!
in the spirit of my book, i did a bunch of cooking today. for lunch i made tilapia lightly slathered in olive oil and sprinkled with a cranberry-herb salt; steamed green beans; and a small red potato that i mashed up on the plate and blanketed with shredded asiago cheese. later i seared some ordinary beef burgers (sometimes plain is best) on my grill pan and served them up with roasted grape tomatoes (apparently safe) bathed in olive oil and herbs and some cheesy macaroni bake with a breadcrumb topping. i also cut up a bunch of strawberries and bagged up some grapes to take to work with me, and with all the cooking i did, i have lunches and dinners for a few days. that feels tremendous.
today was the perfect weekend day: i slept in until about 9, showered, ordered a couple of things from online, cooked, read cookbooks, started and became engrossed in a non-school book, watched some cooking shows, caught up on DVRed programs, made some sun tea (and drank quite a bit of it, i might add), had some great phone convos (happy father's day, dad!), washed all my dinner and lunch dishes, and plan to fall into a delicious sleep thinking about words and sentences and the way that i want to someday tell a story that other people will stay up past their bedtime to read.
and speaking of bedtime, i'm off to it.
in the spirit of my book, i did a bunch of cooking today. for lunch i made tilapia lightly slathered in olive oil and sprinkled with a cranberry-herb salt; steamed green beans; and a small red potato that i mashed up on the plate and blanketed with shredded asiago cheese. later i seared some ordinary beef burgers (sometimes plain is best) on my grill pan and served them up with roasted grape tomatoes (apparently safe) bathed in olive oil and herbs and some cheesy macaroni bake with a breadcrumb topping. i also cut up a bunch of strawberries and bagged up some grapes to take to work with me, and with all the cooking i did, i have lunches and dinners for a few days. that feels tremendous.
today was the perfect weekend day: i slept in until about 9, showered, ordered a couple of things from online, cooked, read cookbooks, started and became engrossed in a non-school book, watched some cooking shows, caught up on DVRed programs, made some sun tea (and drank quite a bit of it, i might add), had some great phone convos (happy father's day, dad!), washed all my dinner and lunch dishes, and plan to fall into a delicious sleep thinking about words and sentences and the way that i want to someday tell a story that other people will stay up past their bedtime to read.
and speaking of bedtime, i'm off to it.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
woozy
a couple of weeks ago, i got sick with a virus that turned into a sinus infection. it took me two weeks to fight it off, but i managed to do it (and it did NOT turn into bronchitis, which i consider no small miracle). since then, however, i've noticed that my energy has been waxing and waning. now, i know, it's midnight, so i have nothing to say about all of this because i should be sleeping, but the thing is i'm not feeling well tonight, and it's making it difficult to lie down and rest. ugh. i think i just need a break from my life.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
if a picture paints a thousand words....
inspired by another blogger, i must do a photo mosaic. here's how it works:
The rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.
here is mine:
The rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.
here is mine:
1. Meeting a Diva: Sarah Brightman, 2. Breakfast 7.11.07 (breakfast meets bento), 3. GL 036, 4. Romans 12:1, Painting with Light Art *, 5. J.C. Chasez, 6. first day of summer, 7. Gondola*, 8. Fruit Tart, 9. Ok, I'm sorry! Go back to your novel., 10. Cissi's Market: Roasted Sea Bass, 11. Brushed, 12. TREES & SHRUBS 5 - 775
quick recap
whew! okay, i haven't blogged in awhile. there are a few reasons for that, the main one being that i was very sick for more than a week! i'm better now, though, so i'm back in the proverbial game....
i just finished writing a paper on emerging energy technologies. fascinating stuff, really, although i wasn't in the mood to spend the majority of my sunday sitting at my computer doing research. not that this is any sort of surprise lately...i'm sure that anyone who knows me is aware of my homework situation. hell, even people who DON'T know me are aware. moving on....
as i mentioned above, i was sick for more than a week. i actually took two WHOLE sick days to try and recover from some flu-like thing that settled in my sinuses and knocked what wind i had straight out of me. i mean, really, i was beyond exhausted. not a good combination when you're in grad school AND under a work deadline.
let's see. what else is going on?
oh! well, in addition to recently buying a new LCD high-def TV, i also finally upgraded to HD cable AND DVR. i heart this, people. now i don't have to feel so tied down to my programming! before i would get all stressed out at the thought of having to miss a show that doesn't repeat (i know, i know - pathetic), but now all stress is removed because DVR has stepped in. hello, flexibility!
i also decided to try bare minerals. i have to say - i love it! it totally evens out my somewhat red-in-the-face look and is light as a feather. thanks to those of you who recommended it - i'm a believer now! with that and my new short haircut, i feel like less of a schlub. ALWAYS a good thing.
although i want to wax poetic about how my birthday is coming up in 3 weeks, i have to go and make dinner. i've only eaten breakfast today and i'm feeling pretty ravenous. will check in again later and regale you with tales of my upcoming adventures.
ttfn!
i just finished writing a paper on emerging energy technologies. fascinating stuff, really, although i wasn't in the mood to spend the majority of my sunday sitting at my computer doing research. not that this is any sort of surprise lately...i'm sure that anyone who knows me is aware of my homework situation. hell, even people who DON'T know me are aware. moving on....
as i mentioned above, i was sick for more than a week. i actually took two WHOLE sick days to try and recover from some flu-like thing that settled in my sinuses and knocked what wind i had straight out of me. i mean, really, i was beyond exhausted. not a good combination when you're in grad school AND under a work deadline.
let's see. what else is going on?
oh! well, in addition to recently buying a new LCD high-def TV, i also finally upgraded to HD cable AND DVR. i heart this, people. now i don't have to feel so tied down to my programming! before i would get all stressed out at the thought of having to miss a show that doesn't repeat (i know, i know - pathetic), but now all stress is removed because DVR has stepped in. hello, flexibility!
i also decided to try bare minerals. i have to say - i love it! it totally evens out my somewhat red-in-the-face look and is light as a feather. thanks to those of you who recommended it - i'm a believer now! with that and my new short haircut, i feel like less of a schlub. ALWAYS a good thing.
although i want to wax poetic about how my birthday is coming up in 3 weeks, i have to go and make dinner. i've only eaten breakfast today and i'm feeling pretty ravenous. will check in again later and regale you with tales of my upcoming adventures.
ttfn!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
the keyboard is mightier than the sword.
tonight i got a phone call from a dear friend from middle/high school...without question one of my favorite people from back in the day and someone for whom i always had so much respect. we haven't spoken in about five years, so we had much catching up and reminiscing to do. although we're both older and maybe a little bit wiser, it felt as though little to no time had passed....i love that. what's more, i so appreciate being able to connect with people who, despite all the craziness of that era in my life, managed to see through the facades and get me. there are so few people who deserve that distinction, but how comforting it is when you find it all over again!
in addition to all of the above, we also talked about writing a bit. the timing of this is particularly interesting, as i have recently been turning over thoughts in my mind about this nagging feeling i've had for years: i think i'm supposed to write a book. i'm not sure when, and i'm still not 100% sure whether it should be a novel or a nonfiction piece, but it's been brewing in there for about 10 years, and at some point in the future, it's going to find its way out of me. funny how lately it's been bubbling up, and then i have this conversation during which my friend said something to the effect of this may very well be your calling, sarah.... well, now, wouldn't that just be interesting?
anyway, the question of the night (and no, i cannot believe i'm still awake) is when do you throw caution to the wind and just plunge into the unknown? hmm. my answer has, in recent years, been right about now. we shall see. we shall just see....
in addition to all of the above, we also talked about writing a bit. the timing of this is particularly interesting, as i have recently been turning over thoughts in my mind about this nagging feeling i've had for years: i think i'm supposed to write a book. i'm not sure when, and i'm still not 100% sure whether it should be a novel or a nonfiction piece, but it's been brewing in there for about 10 years, and at some point in the future, it's going to find its way out of me. funny how lately it's been bubbling up, and then i have this conversation during which my friend said something to the effect of this may very well be your calling, sarah.... well, now, wouldn't that just be interesting?
anyway, the question of the night (and no, i cannot believe i'm still awake) is when do you throw caution to the wind and just plunge into the unknown? hmm. my answer has, in recent years, been right about now. we shall see. we shall just see....
Sunday, May 25, 2008
techneurotic
a.k.a. the incredibly anxious adventures of me and my absent mind....
i've had quite an interesting, mostly fabulous weekend so far. i had been thinking for some time of getting an LCD HDTV and i finally bit the bullet and got a 32". in the process, i also decided to upgrade my never-really-that-great 5-disc DVD/home theater carousel and get an HD upconverter single disc model (samsung). because i have no stereo of which to speak in my living room, i added a recycled receiver (thanks, dad!) so that i can watch movies and shows in full stereo sound, as well as continue to play CDs and whatever else through something other than my TV speakers.
yesterday's trip to BJs yielded the aforementioned tv, and salimah and i spent last evening and part of this morning watching the entire sixth season of 'sex and the city' in preparation for seeing the movie next weekend (we already bought tix online). when i finally got myself together and headed to best buy to pick up the DVD player (and another HDMI cable for when i upgrade to an HD cable box), i went through the whole she-bang of making a decision (no small feat for me) and going through checkout, except that at the last minute i couldn't find my wallet in my purse. as i was rifling through my bag, i jokingly said to salimah, 'i hope my wallet's in here,' but as soon as the words left my mouth, she remembered seeing my wallet on the dining room table at home. i had a single check left in my register, but they wouldn't accept that without a license (which, of course, was also in my wallet)....so, ticked as i was, i had to leave the order at the counter, drive the 15 minutes back home, get the wallet, and return to best buy to complete the purchase.
what should have been a simple, 30-minute jaunt turned into more than an hour of angst. i'm so glad i went back to the store, though. there's no way i could have made it through the evening without feeling agitated that i didn't have what i went for in the first place. i am ALSO rather glad that i had some homeopathic anxiety/stress remedies with me. i popped some of those bad boys in my mouth and let them dissolve as i drove up and down the same roads for what seemed an eternity. i swear, i felt like such a dolt....but at least i was a dolt growing calmer by the minute.
i tell you - the work of a single girl with technical needs is never done. thankfully i am fully armed with happy pills, techie gurus (and dads) to ask for advice, and a best friend who's willing to ride the road with me - sometimes more than once.
i've had quite an interesting, mostly fabulous weekend so far. i had been thinking for some time of getting an LCD HDTV and i finally bit the bullet and got a 32". in the process, i also decided to upgrade my never-really-that-great 5-disc DVD/home theater carousel and get an HD upconverter single disc model (samsung). because i have no stereo of which to speak in my living room, i added a recycled receiver (thanks, dad!) so that i can watch movies and shows in full stereo sound, as well as continue to play CDs and whatever else through something other than my TV speakers.
yesterday's trip to BJs yielded the aforementioned tv, and salimah and i spent last evening and part of this morning watching the entire sixth season of 'sex and the city' in preparation for seeing the movie next weekend (we already bought tix online). when i finally got myself together and headed to best buy to pick up the DVD player (and another HDMI cable for when i upgrade to an HD cable box), i went through the whole she-bang of making a decision (no small feat for me) and going through checkout, except that at the last minute i couldn't find my wallet in my purse. as i was rifling through my bag, i jokingly said to salimah, 'i hope my wallet's in here,' but as soon as the words left my mouth, she remembered seeing my wallet on the dining room table at home. i had a single check left in my register, but they wouldn't accept that without a license (which, of course, was also in my wallet)....so, ticked as i was, i had to leave the order at the counter, drive the 15 minutes back home, get the wallet, and return to best buy to complete the purchase.
what should have been a simple, 30-minute jaunt turned into more than an hour of angst. i'm so glad i went back to the store, though. there's no way i could have made it through the evening without feeling agitated that i didn't have what i went for in the first place. i am ALSO rather glad that i had some homeopathic anxiety/stress remedies with me. i popped some of those bad boys in my mouth and let them dissolve as i drove up and down the same roads for what seemed an eternity. i swear, i felt like such a dolt....but at least i was a dolt growing calmer by the minute.
i tell you - the work of a single girl with technical needs is never done. thankfully i am fully armed with happy pills, techie gurus (and dads) to ask for advice, and a best friend who's willing to ride the road with me - sometimes more than once.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
good night....goodnight
i'm having one of those nights where i want to take a shower before bed. i'm a shower-in-the-morning kind of girl (and believe me, i'll still be taking one tomorrow morning), but i just love that freshly bathed, warm and relaxed feeling that only a nighttime shower can bring. turn off the lights, fire up the candles.....lovely.
the weather has been cattywampus, not being able to decide if it wants to rain or beam sunshine. it's kind of maddening, yet on the days when i'm trapped inside an office, i kind of like being able to see life whip by outside the windows like that. sun, rain, wind....let it all come. it helps me to remember that my little tasks are not the only things going on in the world.
i'm very busy still...not sure when that will ever stop being the case. i feel bad, because i haven't been in touch with a number of my friends in awhile. i'm sure they must think i'm ignoring them. i wish i could explain how much energy it takes to break out of my daily routine and make a phone call sometimes. sure, i still talk to salimah every day, but doing that is like breathing. it's just something i don't think about. and i still call home a couple of times a week to check in on my 'rents, but every other call that i make or e-mail that i write is something i have to remind myself to do. it sounds so foreign for me to say that, but it's just the way my life has become. i keep trying to focus on the fact that there's only 14 more months of this, and then i can get some freedom back. oh Lord, haste the day!!
there's a 90-day write-on calendar on my wall that is grossly out of date, i have papers that need organizing, and there is (as ever) laundry to be done, but tonight i am thinking only of stealing a few moments of quiet and rest....releasing some tension under the hot spray of water....tucking down under my down comforter and closing the curtains on the world for a few hours before it all must begin again. tonight, i am scarlett o'hara personified. i shall not think about the worries of today....tomorrow has time enough for my thoughts and stresses. it can all wait.
the weather has been cattywampus, not being able to decide if it wants to rain or beam sunshine. it's kind of maddening, yet on the days when i'm trapped inside an office, i kind of like being able to see life whip by outside the windows like that. sun, rain, wind....let it all come. it helps me to remember that my little tasks are not the only things going on in the world.
i'm very busy still...not sure when that will ever stop being the case. i feel bad, because i haven't been in touch with a number of my friends in awhile. i'm sure they must think i'm ignoring them. i wish i could explain how much energy it takes to break out of my daily routine and make a phone call sometimes. sure, i still talk to salimah every day, but doing that is like breathing. it's just something i don't think about. and i still call home a couple of times a week to check in on my 'rents, but every other call that i make or e-mail that i write is something i have to remind myself to do. it sounds so foreign for me to say that, but it's just the way my life has become. i keep trying to focus on the fact that there's only 14 more months of this, and then i can get some freedom back. oh Lord, haste the day!!
there's a 90-day write-on calendar on my wall that is grossly out of date, i have papers that need organizing, and there is (as ever) laundry to be done, but tonight i am thinking only of stealing a few moments of quiet and rest....releasing some tension under the hot spray of water....tucking down under my down comforter and closing the curtains on the world for a few hours before it all must begin again. tonight, i am scarlett o'hara personified. i shall not think about the worries of today....tomorrow has time enough for my thoughts and stresses. it can all wait.
Monday, May 19, 2008
in which a fairly innocuous post about my stomach ailment turns into a social commentary on beauty and celebrity
i wound up working @ home today. yesterday i ate something that freaked out my system, so it was best for all concerned (me especially) that i stay on home turf. i think i'm feeling a bit better now; all the ick seems to have passed away. and despite all of that, i got a lot done today, which is a good thing.
in other news, i have nothing pithy to say. oh, well, i did discover that kimora lee simmons looks like a completely different person without her make-up on. let that be a lesson to the teeny-boppers (i can't believe i just said that) who think that there is such a thing as perfection in hollywood: if you had your own hair and make-up people dolling you up on a daily basis, you, too, could probably be on the cover of some slick, air-brushed magazine. i'm just saying.
this comes as no shock to anyone, of course, but you know, why can't people just be who they are without all the glitz and glam? oh right, i forgot....then we'd have nothing to throw our money at.
nevermind. i take that back. we would find something else to throw our money at. there's always something else.
okay, enough of sentences ending with prepositions. i've shamed myself publicly. i'm going to sleep!
in other news, i have nothing pithy to say. oh, well, i did discover that kimora lee simmons looks like a completely different person without her make-up on. let that be a lesson to the teeny-boppers (i can't believe i just said that) who think that there is such a thing as perfection in hollywood: if you had your own hair and make-up people dolling you up on a daily basis, you, too, could probably be on the cover of some slick, air-brushed magazine. i'm just saying.
this comes as no shock to anyone, of course, but you know, why can't people just be who they are without all the glitz and glam? oh right, i forgot....then we'd have nothing to throw our money at.
nevermind. i take that back. we would find something else to throw our money at. there's always something else.
okay, enough of sentences ending with prepositions. i've shamed myself publicly. i'm going to sleep!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
this is what i get for thinking too hard on a sunday
not 15 minutes ago, the sky was dark and foreboding and rain poured down onto the streets as the wind whipped about. now, however, the sun is beaming, the leaves are verdant and there are birds gleefully chirping outside my window. this is some kind of weird spring day we're having.
so, it's sunday, and i'm getting that old familiar feeling of having to go back to the grind tomorrow. salimah and i were out and about earlier; i got some groceries and picked up a prescription at the weg, and then we went to the bux for some coffee and just to sit and chat and take pictures with our camera phones. i'm quite sure that i should now be doing some homework to get a leg up for the week. will i or won't i? that remains the question du jour.
for dinner tonight: some crab-stuffed tilapia (wegman's made), zucchini, and some whole grain melange i bought at trader joe's a few weeks back. in all likelihood, i shall watch some episodes of 'sex and the city' and perhaps prepare a few things for breakfasts this week. oh, who knows? maybe i'll just sit on my rump and do nothing. also a viable option:).
in other news, i've realized that, when it comes to relationships i'm becoming more and more practical and fiscally minded the older i get. things that used to seem preposterous to me are now filtering through my brain and being slotted in the 'reasonable' column (because you know, one must always categorize one's thoughts and ideas...separate the wheat from the chaff....that sort of thing): prenuptial agreements, separate bank accounts, eloping, casual relationships, etc. i'm not saying that i no longer believe in love and commitment and all of that. really, i still do. i just think that one must be reasonable and must not allow sheer emotion to rule the day. heavens!
okay, i think i'm having some sort of jane austen attack. must go do something not quite so heady. grad school homework....yes, that's it.
ttfn!
so, it's sunday, and i'm getting that old familiar feeling of having to go back to the grind tomorrow. salimah and i were out and about earlier; i got some groceries and picked up a prescription at the weg, and then we went to the bux for some coffee and just to sit and chat and take pictures with our camera phones. i'm quite sure that i should now be doing some homework to get a leg up for the week. will i or won't i? that remains the question du jour.
for dinner tonight: some crab-stuffed tilapia (wegman's made), zucchini, and some whole grain melange i bought at trader joe's a few weeks back. in all likelihood, i shall watch some episodes of 'sex and the city' and perhaps prepare a few things for breakfasts this week. oh, who knows? maybe i'll just sit on my rump and do nothing. also a viable option:).
in other news, i've realized that, when it comes to relationships i'm becoming more and more practical and fiscally minded the older i get. things that used to seem preposterous to me are now filtering through my brain and being slotted in the 'reasonable' column (because you know, one must always categorize one's thoughts and ideas...separate the wheat from the chaff....that sort of thing): prenuptial agreements, separate bank accounts, eloping, casual relationships, etc. i'm not saying that i no longer believe in love and commitment and all of that. really, i still do. i just think that one must be reasonable and must not allow sheer emotion to rule the day. heavens!
okay, i think i'm having some sort of jane austen attack. must go do something not quite so heady. grad school homework....yes, that's it.
ttfn!
Friday, May 16, 2008
hard to say
it's friday morning and before i dig into another LONG day of work (i have a deadline to meet today), i just wanted to say that dan fogelberg is perfect for a quiet, rainy morning at home. i have always loved him, but in particular, since his death this past december, i find myself wanting to hear his dulcet tones.
i know that simon cowell dissed david archuleta this week on american idol for singing dan's song 'longer' (which the producers picked, btw), but come on....it's a classic! i continue to submit that the 70s produced some truly fantastic music. cheesy or not, it was good stuff.
anyway, assuming this mellow stuff doesn't put me into a coma by 10 a.m., i am going to plunge myself into the pool of waiting work. let's hope i don't drown:).
you do your best to keep your hand in play
and try to keep the lonesome blues at bay
you think you're winning, but it's hard to say sometimes.....
i know that simon cowell dissed david archuleta this week on american idol for singing dan's song 'longer' (which the producers picked, btw), but come on....it's a classic! i continue to submit that the 70s produced some truly fantastic music. cheesy or not, it was good stuff.
anyway, assuming this mellow stuff doesn't put me into a coma by 10 a.m., i am going to plunge myself into the pool of waiting work. let's hope i don't drown:).
Monday, May 12, 2008
monday evening's post, in which i admit that i am a complete cheeseball
it's 8:41 on a rainy monday night. it's been unseasonably cold here today (in the 40s), and i'm desperately sleepy. unfortunately, i've got pages to read before i sleep (thank you, robert frost) and very little motivation to allow my weary eyes to peruse them.
dinner tonight was so tasty. since being out in the world made me feel less than awesome today, i decided to make something a little spiffy, so i did my customary roasted butternut squash with cinnamon (tossed with orange-scented cranberries and fresh spinach after coming out of the oven); israeli couscous with herbs; and a deep, rich, saucy chicken with red wine and mushrooms. i did the dishes after dinner (yay, me!) and am now blogging to avoid reading. what else is new?
see, the truth is that i'm afraid if i go sit down to read, i'm going to fall asleep, and i really don't feel that i need that to be happening. see, there are two reasons. one is that i'm extremely studious and i would hate to miss an opportunity to do my homework (snort!) and the other? well, um....thebachelorfinaleisonat10! okay, there i said it quickly, so perhaps you won't decode it and find me dorky. well, who am i kidding? i'm a complete goober. i can't help it. i got sucked into this season. he's british....so sue me.
anyway, i should go and get SOMETHING done. *sigh* there is no rest for the weary, the wicked, or those in grad school.
dinner tonight was so tasty. since being out in the world made me feel less than awesome today, i decided to make something a little spiffy, so i did my customary roasted butternut squash with cinnamon (tossed with orange-scented cranberries and fresh spinach after coming out of the oven); israeli couscous with herbs; and a deep, rich, saucy chicken with red wine and mushrooms. i did the dishes after dinner (yay, me!) and am now blogging to avoid reading. what else is new?
see, the truth is that i'm afraid if i go sit down to read, i'm going to fall asleep, and i really don't feel that i need that to be happening. see, there are two reasons. one is that i'm extremely studious and i would hate to miss an opportunity to do my homework (snort!) and the other? well, um....thebachelorfinaleisonat10! okay, there i said it quickly, so perhaps you won't decode it and find me dorky. well, who am i kidding? i'm a complete goober. i can't help it. i got sucked into this season. he's british....so sue me.
anyway, i should go and get SOMETHING done. *sigh* there is no rest for the weary, the wicked, or those in grad school.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
my mother...
...is the oldest daughter of an oldest daughter of an oldest daughter.
...is (as my father calls her) the true 'goodbye girl.'
...always had boxes of heels in her closet that, as a child, i tried on whenever she was out of the house.
...loves opals.
...ran behind my bike to teach me to ride without training wheels (even though she herself had never learned).
...has always been ballsy - so much so that it sometimes horrified me as a child, but i have proudly turned into her (and sometimes even kick it up a notch, i am sure, much to her chagrin).
...cannot resist listening in to other people's conversations in public - especially if they're juicy.
...used to read the menu aloud to me at restaurants, even though i could read every word.
...coined the phrase 'hellooooooo' long before billy crystal made it famous in 'city slickers.'
...is still a new yorker in her heart.
...will always be a dancer in mine.
...is quite a good sport when we tease her and takes great joy when we can all share a laugh (in love, of course) at her expense.
...tells lots of stories, even when you're not in the room.
...is so much like my grandmother, some days it makes me cry.
...made her parents proud.
...has a huge heart, especially for those people that no one else pays attention to.
...is strong in so many ways, and yet i feel very protective of her.
...has the most amazing work ethic i have ever seen.
...is and always will be THE hr guru.
...charms all my friends and has adopted several of them as her 'daughters.'
...helped me through more childhood homework crises than i care to admit.
...still goes out of her way to help me out, even though i'm a full-fledged 'grown-up.'
...will always smell like home to me.
...writes me the best e-mails.
...tells me how proud she is of me (and means it).
...encourages me to be proud of me, too.
...is one of my dearest friends and confidantes (and i do not take this for granted).
...doesn't know how amazing she is.
...will never know how much i love her. never ever.
nevertheless, i love you, mom. happy mother's day.
...is (as my father calls her) the true 'goodbye girl.'
...always had boxes of heels in her closet that, as a child, i tried on whenever she was out of the house.
...loves opals.
...ran behind my bike to teach me to ride without training wheels (even though she herself had never learned).
...has always been ballsy - so much so that it sometimes horrified me as a child, but i have proudly turned into her (and sometimes even kick it up a notch, i am sure, much to her chagrin).
...cannot resist listening in to other people's conversations in public - especially if they're juicy.
...used to read the menu aloud to me at restaurants, even though i could read every word.
...coined the phrase 'hellooooooo' long before billy crystal made it famous in 'city slickers.'
...is still a new yorker in her heart.
...will always be a dancer in mine.
...is quite a good sport when we tease her and takes great joy when we can all share a laugh (in love, of course) at her expense.
...tells lots of stories, even when you're not in the room.
...is so much like my grandmother, some days it makes me cry.
...made her parents proud.
...has a huge heart, especially for those people that no one else pays attention to.
...is strong in so many ways, and yet i feel very protective of her.
...has the most amazing work ethic i have ever seen.
...is and always will be THE hr guru.
...charms all my friends and has adopted several of them as her 'daughters.'
...helped me through more childhood homework crises than i care to admit.
...still goes out of her way to help me out, even though i'm a full-fledged 'grown-up.'
...will always smell like home to me.
...writes me the best e-mails.
...tells me how proud she is of me (and means it).
...encourages me to be proud of me, too.
...is one of my dearest friends and confidantes (and i do not take this for granted).
...doesn't know how amazing she is.
...will never know how much i love her. never ever.
nevertheless, i love you, mom. happy mother's day.
Friday, May 09, 2008
jill scott's vibes are making me sleepy
of course it could be the cocktail i had with dinner tonight, but that's neither here nor there.
i have homework due in an hour, and i'm just so tired, i feel like i could drop.
today was a less than stellar day, but my one consolation is that it's the weekend:).
i promised a friend at work i'd bake him something for monday.
this means i have to go to the store.
who am i kidding? i'd go anyway? i apparently live for grocery shopping.
i have officially given up on jill scott right now and have moved on to sister sledge's 'we are family.'
classic.
i have homework due in an hour, and i'm just so tired, i feel like i could drop.
today was a less than stellar day, but my one consolation is that it's the weekend:).
i promised a friend at work i'd bake him something for monday.
this means i have to go to the store.
who am i kidding? i'd go anyway? i apparently live for grocery shopping.
i have officially given up on jill scott right now and have moved on to sister sledge's 'we are family.'
classic.
Monday, May 05, 2008
in all sincerity....
...if you want something that will rock your world, run (do not walk) to the nearest grocery store and pick up a container of 0% fat fage (pronounced fah-yeh), return home, open the fage and place it into a bowl, drizzle some honey onto it, sprinkle it with some chopped walnuts, and go to TOWN. i'm telling you - you will never feel quite the same about yogurt.
you, processed, fake-flavored yogurts out there, you're dead to me. do you hear me? dead to me.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
unprecedented
i know, i know. two posts in a day? what's up with that?
i just had to say, though, that i just had a very protein-packed dinner and it made me happy. what was that, you ask? well, i took a tortilla, smeared it with fat-free 'refried' black beans, white meat tuna, and a bit of low-fat cheddar, put its partner on top and dry grilled it in a pan (with just a smidge of canola spray) until it was nice and crispy-brown; hacked it into four pieces, and dolloped each quarter with a bit of low-fat sour cream and some frontera peach-mango salsa. may i say? quite delish. just the brain food i needed to finish up a paper i have due tonight.
that is all.
i just had to say, though, that i just had a very protein-packed dinner and it made me happy. what was that, you ask? well, i took a tortilla, smeared it with fat-free 'refried' black beans, white meat tuna, and a bit of low-fat cheddar, put its partner on top and dry grilled it in a pan (with just a smidge of canola spray) until it was nice and crispy-brown; hacked it into four pieces, and dolloped each quarter with a bit of low-fat sour cream and some frontera peach-mango salsa. may i say? quite delish. just the brain food i needed to finish up a paper i have due tonight.
that is all.
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