It is now our annual tradition that I post, in Sarah's stead, on My Brain Hurts on her birthday-proper. So while she sleeps in, and I sit in front of the computer monitor at work nursing a too-sweet coffee, and savoring fruit-filled donuts, I happily take up the assignment to celebrate her in this space.

Over the course of the last year of Sarah's life I have watched her make choices with integrity, that is to say with the outcome and other people's concerns in mind, but without letting those concerns compromise her own boundaries. Sarah's personal goal for the last six months has been to refuse to be a sell-out, to refuse to emotionally whore herself out---in short, to refuse to accept counterfeit offers from the devil (for this is the origin of all counterfeit).

Her generosity of spirit is even more finely formed than a year ago in light of this choice; the decisions she has made have made her even more free in the giving of her time and her resources because she's not troubling herself with the unworthy element. Discernment and Discrimination are not miserly qualities, and Sarah possesses both in spades.

What remains, that you don't know about her, is a lot. Sarah rescues me from feelings of condemnation by being forgiving and compassionate, but without glossing over the truth of the matter. She has watched me be less than careful with money, and has given me countless amounts of it for train fare (during the time of my hellacious commute), she has bought me nice shoes when the cheap ones I owned were falling apart, because she didn't want my feet to get cold, because she wanted my footing to be sure, and continues to be concerned and preoccupied with what is best for me.

This she did while being jobless. I, of course, was employed.

It is a remarkable generosity to simply be concerned about another person's well-being. The mental and spiritual energy it takes to be a presence in another person's atmosphere is staggering.

It is ironic, isn't it, that someone so giving and present often feels so abandoned and uncelebrated? And maybe in the past has felt ashamed of the desire to be such. But it is native to our humanity to want to be noticed by other souls, to be known.

Sarah, I am telling you that I see you for who you are, I know what being my friend costs you, and I know that your counsel is the most complete of any I have ever received from anyone.

I pray for you an exciting year of finally receiving your due. My precious friend, I love you. Happy Birthday.