weary

well, no bronchial illness (see post below) has darkened my door, but even after a weekend of relative rest, i feel more tired than ever. at this point, i am fairly certain that i have some type of virus. there is no other explanation for the weariness i feel. it is not emotional; it is not spiritual. it is, however, sapping all of my energy for either of those areas of my life.

every work day for the last 6+ months, i have put in my time, because the threat of not making my daily wage has crouched at the corner of my mind. i cannot afford to make less than what i make, and so, sick or not, i drag myself out of bed and do what i need to do. i know that i must not be feeling well, because even the threat of losing a few hundred dollars is not enough to pull me into line and into focus enough to feel like i can go to work tomorrow. sure, maybe another night's rest will do the trick and i will be back in the saddle again. one can only hope. otherwise, it's bye-bye moula, hello pillow.....for reals, yo.