i'm fairly certain i do not have the words for this

if i could let you inside my brain, this would be so much easier, but i had a fantastic weekend. to the untrained eye, nothing 'earth-shattering' happened. i attended a conference in north carolina, ate some bbq, hung out with michael and my folks, and then came home. in my soul, however, things are different. i am different. my view of my life is...well....different.

i've known for awhile now that God has called me to minister to those who are struggling to know him but are held back by their hurts and fears. specifically, i feel led to reach out to those who are sexually broken. this would seem to include a lot of people - and it does - but i guess specifically, i have a heart for those who are struggling with homosexuality and/or the after-effects of sexual abuse. i know i haven't spoken very openly about a lot of my views thus far. perhaps times are going to be changing, because i do have things to say about these issues. and while my opinions are very strong, my beliefs are even stronger. and i do know one thing: God has all of this well in hand. not just my life, but the state of this country, and of all humanity. and there are those whose lives He has changed and rearranged - the once hardened hearts that have been broken by His cords of loving kindness. this includes people from every background, every experience, every nation, tribe, and tongue.

i'm so excited to see where in this puzzle i might fit. i'm looking into some opportunities to serve locally and am praying about where to go next. it's a daunting task, and much of the church doesn't want to deal with these specific issues head-on. but no matter, because i believe that God does, and in the end, He is the one whose opinion matters in all of this.

a lot of hatred has fueled a lot of hurt in this world, and there is a battle being waged even now. that hate may try its hardest to swallow all of humanity, but it is love that will triumph in the end. it is that love that drives me forward. love came here. love walked here. love lived and died and rose again.

love won out.