meet the fockers, lite

yesterday, michael and i drove down to his parents' house, my parents drove up from virginia, and the someday in-laws had their first gander at the 'other side.' i have to admit, i was kind of nervous about the whole scenario. i mean, my parents are great people - very entertaining and fun - but the same thing that makes them great can also be a little much sometimes. my mother, who is an extremely friendly and welcoming person, gets into 'storytelling mode' and the hits just keep on coming. she and i had made an agreement beforehand that there would be no telling of random family stories and no talking about her job (this, i knew, would be a longshot). but lo and behold, within five minutes of arriving, she was off with a bang....

*sigh*

michael's parents seemed to enjoy themselves, though, and his mom even talked quite extensively about some random family members (lots of names, very little context). somehow in my mind, that evened out the playing field a bit.

in the middle of all this story volleying, michael and i just kind of sat there, listening. i jumped into the conversation at a few isolated points - more as a way to remind myself that i was still present in the situation - but really, it was like a 4-hour talking marathon and after the first mile, i already knew there was no winning this race.

but that's okay; i figure they need to get all the niceties out of their system, and at least there was no arguing or talking of politics. all in all, it went rather well; the food was quite good, and michael and i are still speaking, so i count it a successful evening.

but as we drove home last night, i realized that it's strange to me that i'm at the stage in my life where the prospect of having in-laws doesn't seem so far-fetched. it's just another page in the story, i guess. so i wonder what will happen in the next chapter....

snow and snuggling

i had a positively peachy weekend. after i got to hang out with salimah on friday night, michael was gracious enough to take her home in the snow on saturday morning. then, after getting some videos for us to watch, he came back to my house and we hunkered down and watched the snow rush its way to the ground. the storm, in my opinion, didn't last nearly long enough.

i made us fajitas for dinner and we mixed up a batch of delicious, hearty 'cowboy cookies' - basically, a melange of some whole wheat pastry flour, oatmeal, chocolate chips, walnuts, and the basic butter/sugar/egg/vanilla combination. SO good and so filling! we watched spiderman 2 and part of total recall (who remembered that the acting in this movie truly sucked? i guess i should have known better with the one-two punch of arnie and sharon stone!) and around 12:30, we crumped out (we had already planned he would stay over since i have a guest room and there is no reason he needed to be risking his life getting home in the frozen tundra).

in between the food and the snowfall, we just spent time talking and enjoying each other's company while keeping warm under blankets and with mugs of hot cocoa pressed to our palms. i love being with michael; he soothes my soul....

it was hard to let him go sunday evening, but given the fact that we have somewhat separate lives to lead, parting was inevitable. as i closed the door after him, i couldn't help but wish that he didn't have to go home. or, rather, that he was already there...with me.

but yes, i know, some day he will be....

oh, and to add even more magic to the moment, when i went outside this morning to leave for work, not only had the man removed every bit of snow from my car, but he also shoveled a pathway from the door of my apartment to the door of my vehicle...just for me. have i mentioned that my boyfriend is the best?!

it was too bad, really, that i had to go to work today; it would have been another perfect day for napping and sinking under blankets with my favorite man. here's hoping that the next time snow hits charm city, we're socked in for good....

a girl can dream, can't she?:)

rachael ray is making huevos rancheros in the next room and i'm sitting in my office trying to ignore the fact that i can hear the tv of the lady downstairs. what REALLY interests me right now, however, is the super delish meatloaf i have in the oven; i put a sweet, tomato-y glaze on it with a slight teriyaki nuance. the smells coming from my kitchen are quite heavenly just now. i have nothing much to eat alongside it, but i don't care so much. i may just be eating meat for dinner tonight:)

i'm hoping that an evening of junk TV and an early tuck-in will even things out. and then if the snow is held at bay, this weekend promises a somewhat 'meet the fockers' experience. stay tuned....

back in the land of the living....almost

i've been rather out of commission for awhile now. yes, i know...it's not my preference to leave this much time between blog postings. please forgive. the sickness had overwhelmed me.

i'm feeling much better, although not completely well yet. my voice is still going in and out, the cough is still a bit hacky, and my energy level is still rather low. but other than that, i'm holding my own. in fact, i can almost completely taste food again!

in other news, michael bought me a gazelle power plus machine this weekend and i've already got it set up in my office for when my lung capacity is fully back to normal. truth be told, i'm already using it a bit, but i'm keeping it to a few minutes at a time until i build my endurance back up. it's pretty fun to use and more of a workout than it seems it would be. i'm hoping to work my way up to using it 4 times a week. we'll see how that goes!

also, salimah and i went shopping yesterday at hecht's and exchanged a coffee maker she had gotten me for christmas and instead got me a new set of knives:). i can't tell you how long i've been needing decent knives, and this particular set comes with a free santoku knife - which i've also been wanting for quite awhile! i also got two fabulous handbags and matching wallets, along with some facial moisturizer and a new mousepad.

and now that i have detailed all my purchases for the rest of the world, i'm going to eat some coconut shrimp and rice for dinner and then watch my very favorite addiction for two whole hours. *sigh* mediocre talent and fried seafood - BRING IT ON!

:)

sandpaper

this is what it feels has been rubbed across my throat. i mean really. it's so scratchy and raw. i'm in agony. and the cough. barking, dry, constant. making the sandpaper feeling more pronounced.

oh, and to make matters worse, it's a virus:(. this means that i got no antibiotics of any kind, but i did get codeine, folks. that's right. sweet elixir of sleep, come to me and sing me your songs of happiness....

sorry, did i mention that i've already taken a dose?:)

i've made the difficult decision to stay home from work again tomorrow. i've been deliberating and torturing myself about it all evening, because i feel so bad to miss three days, and yet i'm so incredibly worn out and airheady, i don't feel like i have anything to offer from a work (or personal) standpoint anyway. but my discomfort and exhaustion have won out and i'm going to have to take my chances that all will work out.

i hope....

the winter of my discontent?

i must admit, this year has started off rather uneventfully for me. well, if by uneventful, i mean getting reamed out by my drunken uncle at the dinner table in front of my boyfriend and entire family (technically that was still in 2004, but it was new year's weekend, so i'm counting it), eating a scrumptious meal at roy's restaurant - part of which made me nearly weep (it was that good), a nasty and rather annoying throat/chest cold and upset stomach that have waylayed me for my first two days back to work in the new year (yeah, now THAT's a good way of looking impressive with the boss, sar!)....hmm. is that all? yeah, that'll do it for now.

oh yeah, and now i'm addicted to 24. michael had me watch the entire 3rd season with him on dvd over the break, and it hooked me in so fast; i'm going to have to get the first 2 seasons to round out the storyline fully, but suffice it to say that the 4th season can't come quickly enough to my netflix queue....why does he do these things to me?!

other than all of that, i'm feeling rather down in the dumps. being sick in the new year stinks. i'm heading off to the doctor this afternoon; i think i'd better start on some antibiotics before whatever's in my throat gets any worse. i feel the need to get back on the horse about everything in my life. the holidays are always an exciting time, but the aftermath of blah often makes it seem that they weren't quite worth all their hype. i badly need groceries and clean laundry and vacuumed carpets.

but all of that can wait; what i shall have now is a hot shower and some tea. and perhaps toast or something equally benign. i'm trying to learn not to get too ahead of myself these days. one step at a time. one wool socked foot in front of the other. down the hall. wash my troubles down the drain....

where are you, Christmas?

i awoke this morning feeling refreshed, even after pitifully few hours of sleep; we'll see how long this awake-ness lasts. last night was a melange of joy and frustration. michael and i drove down to monty county, visited with some friends of ours and their six-month-old baby - or really, i should say, the friends' parents, because i got cornered into this question-and-answer session about homeschooling for an hour and a half before we just conveniently 'had' to go. oh well.

then, we went to michael's parents' house where the whole crew had gathered and children were just getting wound up for the evening. we wolfed down a quickie dinner so that michael and i could jet back out the door and get him to his first church service of the evening (he was playing with a brass quintet). since i had a few hours, i got to see my dear naomi who has been making her home of late on the western side of the country. we had some overly sweet coffee and then hung out with the last minute drugstore shoppers and ramshackle christmas eve crew as i wandered the aisles looking for q-tips at cvs. needless to say, it was slim pickins up in there and i was counting my blessings that i do not work in retail - this time of year or any other. we parted ways and i headed back to the halls' place, only to visit for another half hour before we had to leave for church again. i was looking forward to the service, at least, although i did note at the outset that the program looked a bit long. no matter i thought to myself. the first service only took an hour. yeah, well news flash, folks. apparently, pastor man got a bit maudlin and long-winded sometime between 9 and 11, because he droned on and on and on in such that we didn't get out of there until 12:45!!!

suffice it to say that i didn't make it to my warm little apartment until an hour later, only to discover (upon immediately received phone call) that michael's hubcaps had been stolen sometime during the course of the evening. great.

now, it would be tempting to look at all of the above and think yeah, that's pretty much a less than ideal way to spend Christmas eve (except the dear friends part). isn't it supposed to be about cookie-baking and carol-singing and making of merry? there's some christmas song whose lyrics read as follows:

where are you, Christmas?
why can't i find you?
why have you gone away?
where is the laughter
you used to bring me?
why can't i hear music play?

my world is changing;
i'm rearranging.
does that mean Christmas changes too?

where are you, Christmas?
do you remember
the one you used to know?
i'm not the same one;
see what the time's done.
is that why you have let me go?

sure, i suppose that if, to you, christmas were only this flitting emotion that could come and go with the sounds of paper ripping and the twinkling of tinsel and bells and the 'ho-ho-ho' of santa at the mall, then yeah, it would suck more than anything to feel 'christmas' slipping through your fingers if you had to spend it alone today, or if you didn't have money for presents, or if things just weren't going all right.

but here's the truth: Christmas has nothing to do with any of that, really. it's about a love so amazing, so divine, coming down to earth in the form of something so humble, so unrecognizable that it nearly slipped before us, unnoticed...and yet it rocked the world with such force that people still can't seem to stop talking about, arguing about it, fighting for it, dying for it, living for it. and that something - that baby - was and is the light of the world, come to save us from darkness...come to save us from ourselves.

so i won't be asking any questions of Christmas today, because i know where He is..today and every day. He will not let us go. He is here with us. Emmanuel. the Risen Lord. the Christ. and today, again, i worship Him. He has not changed. i have. i have, because of Him.

merry Christmas.

ruins

nothing remarkable happened today - nothing bad, nothing good - but in my heart i will not chalk this up as a 'good day.' because what is remarkable is the sadness i feel...and the way it has been washing over me of late has been, at times, too much.

i'll admit it: i ate a piece of cake today. the good news is that i don't feel it's becoming a pattern of behavior, but at the same time, there are days when i cannot deal to think about my food intake and making sure i eat enough and the right kinds of foods and blahblahblah. i simply don't feel like i can think through all of that right now.

in fact, as i type this, my words seem painfully inadequate to express what i really feel. here, though, is what gives me hope:

the LORD will surely comfort zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; He will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.
- isaiah 51:3

slow and steady wins the race

today was an abnormally slow day at work. i'm in between big projects and i managed to wipe out my boss's stash of small diversions, so i was left to kind of fend for myself with this textbook that needs a once-over. frankly, i wasn't in the mood for any type of once-overing behavior. and to boot, two of my favorite coworkers were out today:( so life was just boring all around.

but the good news is that even though i've been having kind of a rough time with some emotional crap that has surfaced and although i haven't been keeping as strictly to my food regimen as before, i'm still managing to lose some weight, albeit slowly. what's strange (for me anyway) is that i'm feeling like i want to be exercising. i can't say that i've ever really had the urge to do that - or at least not as strongly as i'm feeling it now. in fact, michael and i have been talking about looking into procuring a treadmill for me. woohoo!!

so who knows. there may be hope for me yet, even if i did eat half a chocolate chip cookie earlier....

and it was good, too:)

home to me

before i go to pick up the illustrious salimah so we can shop and watch movies and do girl things and take tomorrow off from work (yay vacation!), i must drop a note out into the void (for those of you who care to read my thoughts)....

last night, michael's sister came over to sup with us. i made chicken cacciatore and fresh spinach sauteed in garlic and olive oil. we had crusty, whole-grain bread and some pinot noir. conversation was delightful and flowed easily and mary ann was all too happy to brag on how wonderful her little brother was as a child. believe me, i've seen the pictures; he was cute even then. it's probably good we didn't meet in nursery school; i'm sure my three-year old self wouldn't have been able to resist his blonde hair and big blue eyes (i was all about the boys back then) and i don't know that he would have taken too well to me insisting that he kiss me goodbye or lie next to me every afternoon during nap time (yes indeed, i was quite the romancer).

admittedly, my romancing tactics are quite different these days; now it's much more about cooking fun meals and such. don't be fooled, people. the way to a man's heart may not be directly through his stomach, but it's certainly a pit stop along the way;).

in all seriousness, i had a really great time this thanksgiving break just being with michael - eating, talking, watching movies. i cannot explain the comfort of being with him. there is no pretense, no hiding, no putting on of fronts. it is just time with him. just time to be me. just time to be us.

michael, i love you. you are home to me.

prelude to thanks

so it's tuesday evening and i've been sick to my stomach for the last 4 days (since saturday). i worked from home today and after putting in a good day's worth of effort, i decided to take a 'short' nap. THREE hours later, here i sit, still muddled by bad dreams, feeling all strange as the post-pseudocoma anxiety swirls around me.

i just want to feel better so that i can get on with my upcoming five-day weekend (to include much time with michael and then Christmas shopping and making of merry with salimah). i'm going to 'mind-over-matter' it this time and hope for the best.

besides, i want to enjoy the thanksgiving dinner i've got planned. here's the menu as it now stands:

stuffed turkey cutlets (with shrooms, cranberries, sage, and walnuts), rolled and glazed with cranberry something-or-other
squash casserole with onions
roasted sweet potatoes with cinnamon
green beans kicked up some notches
fresh cranberry sauce

dessert: two-layer pumpkin cream pie

i'm splurging on the dessert side of things and going mostly yummy veggie and protein for the rest.

now, as excited as i am about making all of that, i'm really thrilled to spend time with some of the people i love this holiday. there is truly no greater gift than that of close relationships in which you can really be yourself. God has blessed me with some wonderful people in my life...and i don't say that to be trite. my relationships are worth a lot to me, because they have involved a lot of time and tears and talking through things. the resulting quality of relating, though, far outshines any 'work' involved. i spent so many years feeling so alone, and to be an adult and feel like i've finally got some people who put as much into my life as i put into theirs - well, that's something worthy of some thanksgiving!

here's hoping that your holiday is spent with people who really know you...and may there be delicious treats waiting at every turn!

decision 2004

there were a lot of reasons that i voted the way i did: abortion, gay marriage/civil unions, the war, terrorism, taxes, health care, etc. but at the end of the day, there are other things to consider besides issues. while i am not one to be overly swayed by emotions, i cannot discount the feeling i have about someone in my 'gut.'

some of you may have read this guy's story of a personal experience with the president. it did nothing to sway my vote in the least, but served instead to confirm what i already felt in my heart.

yesterday, i wrote the president an e-mail. i'd only ever done that one other time - when war broke out. i know he may never read what i wrote, but i wanted to go on record that, win or lose, he was the one choice for me in this election.

so, despite the bitter divisions that exist in this country today, i cannot suppress my own gladness at the outcome of this election, and it is my hope that mudslinging and name-calling can be put to rest (although this, i realize, is a bit of a reach - especially in my family). i feel very strongly that it's my responsibility not to insult people in office, and if kerry had won today, i would respect him as president.

but 'tis not the case this time, so it is with great joy that i raise my glass to our current and continuing president. dubya, i'm glad it's you again. the decision is final this time, and oh what a relief it is!

the die is cast

so today, with trembling hand (i hadn't yet eaten anything and it was nearly noon), i cast my vote for what is arguably the most important presidential election of my young life.

now, the time comes to sit and wait....

the rest of the story.... (a.k.a. 'how i almost punched a triage nurse in the face')

first, let me say - to those of you who have been praying and have called or written to wish me well - thank you SO much!!

okay, so here's the deal. basically, early tuesday morning (5:45 a.m.), i was in my bed, fast asleep, when suddenly i was awakened by what felt like a bad leg cramp. as i rolled over to throw myself out of bed (in an attempt to walk it off), i felt something pop in the back of my knee and the pain nearly crippled me.

i spent the next several minutes writhing and moaning in pain, praying to God to help me, and wondering if i should call an ambulance (yes, the pain was that bad). eventually, i hobbled over to the bathroom and got immediately in the shower (hoping that the hot water would calm the muscle spasms - it didn't). when that proved futile, i limped back into my room and left michael a message on his voice mail, telling him i was scared and needed help. then i called salimah and whined pitifully into the phone while my leg continued to spasm and twitch. agony, i tell you.

anyway, long story short, i went to an urgent care facility where i was told that it could be a blood clot (even though it seemed doubtful to me, but whatever) and that i needed to go to the ER for a venous doppler (ultrasound) test.

michael and i went over to the hospital and arrived at around 10 a.m.. we sat in the waiting room for over FOUR HOURS (i will spare you the details of my aggravation and near fight with the triage nurse), and then i was taken back into a room where i waited for another hour or more. eventually, a rather groggy-looking doctor came in, examined me, and then sent me upstairs to get my ultrasound.

after much more sitting around and being wheeled through the hospital on a stretcher (made me dizzy), i had a very pleasant - although painful - experience with the ultrasound tech (who was required, unfortunately, to press her ultrasound device rather harshly into my thigh in various places). the test was normal, though, so it was worth the discomfort...and as an added bonus, i got to see my veins do their job (technology is way cool!). the doppler was like a weather map inside my body - flowing dots of color....the storm of life raging through my veins.

by this point, i had already taken a muscle relaxant and was starting to feel rather 'loopy.' i had to wait in the hall for another 40 minutes before some people came to take me back to the ER, but once i was there again, they made relatively quick work of getting me out of there.

michael and i went by my office to pick up some work (just in case) and then out for dinner. at this point, it was after 6:30 and neither of us had eaten since 7:15 that morning. we had a delicious mexican dinner at the little place up the street from me (what a find!), although i will admit that i barely remember any of it. by the time we left there, my eyes were practically rolling back in my head.

we went back to my house and i brushed my teeth and crawled into bed. michael rubbed my leg for awhile and sat with me before tucking me in and leaving me to enjoy my stupor. at some point after that, salimah called me, but i have no real memory of the phone call. apparently, i answered most of my questions with a 'hmmmm?' or 'hhoooooo?'

so, four days later, i'm still rather sore and still cooped up in my house, but i'm starting to get better, and i'm excited to be getting back into the swing of things. i'm not entirely sure what this whole experience was all about, but in the midst of it, i've gotten to spend some nice time with the boy. i must say, though...i kind of wish i didn't have to hurt so much in the process....

but hey, that's life. a bit of pain, a dose of happiness, and maybe a dash of oprah thrown in for good measure.:)

newsflash

i spent all of tuesday at the hospital in the ER. my leg hurts too much now to sit here and tell you all about it, but suffice it to say that i sustained an injury and have been on muscle relaxants and bed rest ever since.

so if anyone in the area feels like coming over and cheering me up, give me a shout out;).

if i wrote you a letter, it would say this:

today was less than stellar. i wound up having to stay at work for a total of 11.5 hours so that i could finish up a project before tomorrow morning. technically i didn't have to stay, but the thought of having to extend the editing of this reprint for another day was making me want to cry. i was the last to leave the office at 7 and the darkness enveloped me as i left the building.

you can't imagine how alone i felt in that moment, walking to my car in the darkened parking lot. even the dashboard lights didn't seem as bright tonight. the night was insistent, unyielding.

and was it an accident that while i drove down the highway towards my empty apartment, all the songs spoke of waiting and longing and wanting something other than what is now? i don't think so. i said this to you already, but it is the feeling of not belonging that is truly maddening. the realization that, in the midst of many, you're the only one there....and in the company of new friends, you still feel that you don't quite fit.

but the memory of your arms around me - with only the light from the kitchen casting shadows on the wall - warms me, even in my sadness. the truth is, i don't want to be anywhere else but with you.

with you, i know where i belong.

the fairy tale myth

yesterday and this morning, i watched two movies based on the tale of cinderella: 'ella enchanted' and 'a cinderella story.' first, let me say that, yes, i subjected myself to hilary duff for 95 long minutes. and was it worth it? notsomuch.

but here's the thing: it's important to recognize that, throughout the history of film, we have had portrayals of these magic-moments-type romances thrown upon the big screen to entice our hearts and our minds toward believing that it's really supposed to happen that way. and even in our so-called 'reality' fixated society, we're still neck deep in fantasy. look at the way we live our lives: there are more and more methods of escape available to us, and we, as a culture, buy into each and every one of them. Internet chat rooms, pornography, 'virtual reality' games, drug-filled raves...the list goes on and on. and sure, some people might say that all of that crap is focused more on 'the young.' well, yeah, why not pollute the minds of children so that they're all good and fantasy-addicted before they're even 18? but also, have you seen how many adults buy into all that stuff as well?

okay, well i digress....

anyway, the point is that the fairy tale, to me, is largely empty. these people don't KNOW each other. they meet, stars collide, hearts swoon, and bam, in 95 minutes, they're in love and everything's perfect. news flash, kids: the real world doesn't work that way. if my life were a movie, it would largely be about resolving conflicts, having hard conversations, struggling to be patient, feeling frustrated, and battling confusion at every turn. but oh yes, there would be moments of sweetness woven throughout. moments of real joy and laughter and understanding and lots of hugs and sighs of relief.

and to me, that kind of story is one that catches my eye, because it's not so prescripted that i can see the ending before we even begin. my story is a lot more suspenseful - at times, terrifying - and the dialogue, while interesting, is far from any movie script.

so i'll take the anti-fairy tale, please. sure, it's fun to divert one's attention for awhile, but real life must always reign supreme. what's the use in drowning the cares of the world for the sake of a few moments of 'bliss,' when true life will be there to smack you in the face once you wake up from your happy coma? i prefer to remain in the muck so that i can really enjoy the sun when the skies do clear. it's much more authentic that way. no movie sets for me.

one question still remains unanswered, however: will this princess get her guy in the end and live happily ever after?

i guess you'll have to keep watching the story unfold to find out....

fits and starts

every time i have purposed in my mind to write in this blog, something has stymied that wanting. i am, more than ever, noncommittal to the notion of putting my thoughts down on paper....er, screen. it's nothing personal, dear blog readers (all precious few of you). it's just that i've been out living my life, learning to open up my heart a bit more, and taking a lot of decongestants:). (okay, so the decongestants didn't really have anything to do with it, but it's still true, nevertheless.)

things have been going pretty well with me, save this pesky virus/cold/thing that still lingers a bit and makes me very tired some days. but relationships at work are building, michael and i are growing ever closer, and i am gearing up for the holidays and lots of cooking and spending time with friends and family.

fall rocks. it holds within its hand the promise that at some point, after the hardness of winter, new life will spring up new and green and altogether forward-thinking. but in the meantime, it's all about nesting and snuggling and being shielded from the cold. oh, and did i mention soup?:) yes, we like soup and sandwiches on crusty bread (yay, panera!) and leaves crunching and turtlenecks and cocoa and pumpkins.

winter, hold yourself back. i want to enjoy this changing time - fits and all:)

nothing like the sun

the truth is that, in the human hearts of this world, there are just some places that are dark. they always have been, and perhaps they always will be. and no amount of counseling, anti-depressants, and self-help books will ever change that. the only thing...and i stress, the only thing that will go into those places and make them as day is the Holy Spirit. it is as if God, who is light, is a magnet to the darkness, in that one cannot help but be lit if He comes your way and gets under your skin.

all of this occurred to me today on a deeper level when someone who is normally rather happy began cursing almost out of nowhere in reaction to something i said (cursing not at me, but about the situation). a seed of bitterness rising up out of her heart's soil and blooming - in that instant - into a flower of anger.

i'm shocked that i was surprised by it, but it amazed me. and yet i know, having said that, there are still places in my own heart that could produce a garden. and i cannot weed that crap out myself. nothing but the light will do.

don't cry for me, dear blog readers....

the truth is i never left you. the other truth is that i'm not evita, so i'm going to cut that out.

okay, so let me sum up the events of the last week. here they are, in whatever order i type them:

1. i had a rental car from thursday the 23rd until this thursday because of ONE LITTLE THING WRONG in my car that the dealership was having trouble fixing. and the real kicker? it's mostly fixed, but not 100%.

2. tuesday, during the storm from hell (sorry, but it pretty much was), i was driving said rental car out of my work parking lot and just as i was about to make a right turn across the light rail tracks (which, incidentally, run parallel to my building and the road leading away from my building), the force of the wind and rain caused the wires over the train to CATCH ON FIRE and sparks SHOT IN THE AIR. but it was hard to see this, really, since the rain was driving down so hard, it was really obstructing my vision. and then, to add to the obstruction, after the FLAMES SHOT IN THE AIR, the entire road was ENGULFED IN CHEMICAL-BURN-SMELLING SMOKE and i could not see beyond my windshield. so what did i do? prayed to Jesus and made a completely blind three-point turn and headed back to my job. like i said, i couldn't see at all, but i didn't know if that train was about to blow up or something, so my one chance at safety - i thought - was to go back to work. so i make it back to the building, look down at the floor of the car, and realize that my RENTAL CAR IS FLOODED. who knows if it was like this when i got in, or if driving around through the rushing waters on the roads made it flood. either way. me not happy.

incidentally, i did make it home safely - about an hour and a half later than i should have. no worries.

3. CNN was supposed to show up at my office on wednesday. they didn't come, however, because they got held up and/or took a wrong turn or some such nonsense. on the bright side, however, our office is looking mighty spiffy and i got a bookshelf in my cubicle:).

4. michael has pneumonia.

5. i now have a temperature and tightness in my chest and i'm feeling very achy. i wonder if the fact that i got rather wet on tuesday (see #2) is contributing to any of this.

6. oy.

7. please pray for me.

i'm off to bed early tonight. oh, and no disrespect to madonna or anything, but eva peron, she ain't.