Thursday, December 08, 2011

just write

i still remember the first day i learned what a blog was. it was back in april of 2002. i was in the midst of clawing my way out of arguably the darkest place i'd ever been in and, on top of it, i had a lot of time on my hands. my dear friend tim had started this 'blog' thing (and at the time, i was in the habit of searching for friends of mine on the internet to see if there was anything to see), and i found it and started reading. then i clicked a few more links and, the next thing i knew, i had fallen down a rabbit hole straight into the blogosphere.

i knew almost immediately that i was hooked...and i just had to start one of these blogs for myself. i mean, what a great way to share all your random musings with the great unknown. what a great way to be 'heard,' even if no one ever saw anything i posted. (if someone writes on their blog and there's no one around to read it, does it make a 'sound'?) i didn't care one bit. the promise of the experience was too tempting....

i quickly discovered that my blog wasn't salacious enough to garner thousands of readers...which is fine, really. i don't need recognition to keep writing. Lord knows if i did, i would have stopped years ago. but it was enough to make ME feel better. it was therapy for my weary soul, and boy did i ever need it.

from that first day, april 29, 2002, i just kept writing whenever i felt like it...sometimes multiple times a day. i wrote about dreams i from the night before, things i made for dinner (not much has changed), moments of stillness and calm with God in the midst of utter chaos, wishes for my future self, reflections on my early life, letters i would never send, etc. it was just me, out there for all the world to see, but it was my eyes that needed to read the words.

every few months, i would go back and read where i had been and how far had i had come (or not, as the case may have been). i would learn from my own reflections, realize how prayer and meditation and good honest work had changed my heart and my perspectives on things. i had created a series of milestones for myself. and the looking back healed the me i was becoming.

it's been almost 10 years since it all began, and although few and far between, i've had others come to me...some friends, some strangers...and share how my words, my pain, my triumphs have helped them to see themselves—and God, life, etc.—more clearly. i've made some friends through the experience. i've learned about other people i might never have known. but i've also cleaned out the closets in my heart and kept my own inner hopeful writer alive. history really is the best teacher, and as much as i've grown and changed, i don't ever want to leave all this behind. i have so much more to learn.

Today's prompt: Why blog? Why do you or why do you like to blog (recognizing that these are not always the same thing)?—courtesy of Kristen


Jennifer Bergey said...

Learning from our own reflections is pretty powerful. I can't believe it's been ten years.

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