just about two years ago this time, i had just gotten accepted into grad school and was feverishly trying to mentally prepare myself for the academic (and personal) unknown. i was also just 3 months shy of leaving a job that wasn't fulfilling me in the least for the place i now work (still without a doubt a fantastic decision). there's no possible way i could have known how much would change in that time and how quickly the time would pass. two summers ago, i felt it would take me FOREVER to get that degree, and i couldn't imagine doing it, let alone being able to sustain an A average the whole time. i didn't have enough faith in my own ability to put my mind to something and stick with it. and yet here i am, having accomplished every single thing i set out to do.
and tonight i find myself at a similar beginning feeling just as uncertain (or at least slightly doubtful) that i can actually FINISH what i've started. and yet now i have clear evidence that i can do these things, so tonight i'm giving myself an internal pep talk that not only CAN i do this, but i WILL do it. and however long it takes, i will just keep working hard until i get it done. no doubt i've been tough on myself these last two years, and while some of that might not be super healthy or helpful, it gets things accomplished, you know? so maybe i'll let a little of my inner drill sergeant out again to kick some ass and take some names (even if it's my own ass getting kicked). and who knows where i'll be two years from now? one thing's for sure: i've tasted straight As and i'm not particularly interested in half-hearting my way through my life anymore. this time i'm going straight to the head of the class.
mark my words.