Tuesday, June 23, 2009

these days...

...i count the hours, one by one. i let clothes pile in the basket (for later). i leave the dishes sitting in the sink overnight—or maybe two days (at most). i stockpile berries like they're going out of style. i ration and plan and bag and ration again. i obsess over the current state of my DVR recording bank. i listen for quiet, but it almost never comes. i make lists and forget to complete them, and then i make some more. i wait and hope and wonder whether it will ever be the way it should. i drain the phone batteries talking to the people whose voices make me remember who i am. i nurse tension headaches that sit just over my left eye. i talk to myself. i answer back. i put magazines into piles (for later). i forget to change the calendar until more than a month has passed (though i hate missing the pictures). i think about cleaning off my patio chairs and sitting in the mugginess to watch the sun disappear over the trees. i stay in the air conditioning instead. i let things go. i pick them up again. i run my fingers over the shells i found on an empty beach in south carolina. i think of the ocean and what it brings and what it takes away. i miss what almost was. i miss what still might be....

1 comment:

Vic said...

Sarah,
I feel like I could have written this.