Monday, April 27, 2009

i'm nothing if not last-minute....

it's monday night here in crabcake corners and i'm readying myself for a lengthy, multi-day trip, the first leg of which will begin tomorrow evening after work. i've got laundry to wash, packing and tidying to do, treats and supplies to gather, and papers to organize before i leave. shouldn't be a problem, right? it's only 8:50 PM the night before.

this weekend, bella got all spiffied up, and today after work, i went and bought some new running shoes to keep my tootsies happy. really, it's just a matter of checking all the items off my list before i depart.

oh, and i'm going to the antebellum south, in case you're wondering....the land of sweet tea and y'all....where i plan to sleep in, get on a boat, put my feet in the ocean, eat more than one grit, visit my dear nigel, and finish the book i began before this past semester started. in short, i can't wait. when i come home, i promise to *try* and upload some pics, but for anyone who's read my blog for more than a year, you know that i don't always hop to it right away. i'm trying to get better. really, i am.

so, that's all the news that's fit to print tonight. i'll have my laptop while i'm there, so i'm sure there may be some blogging, facebooking, and tweeting going on (but again, we'll see how faithful i am with it all once i've got an ocean breeze in my face).

try not to miss me too much, y'all. see you on the flip side:).

Saturday, April 18, 2009

i'm not a doctor; i just play one on my blog.

the last few days, i've been an incredibly slow-moving train. my asthma kicked into high gear this week, and i feared i was on the fast track to bronchitis. so, i did what any paranoid girl does: i locked myself in the house for a few days and slept as much as humanly possible, didn't take too many phone calls, and tried to let myself just breathe.

i think it may have helped.

i'm not entirely out of the woods, but my chest isn't incredibly tight anymore—thank God. still, i cannot seem to shake the cloud my head is in. i don't know if it's 3-day-old nyquil that has yet to wear off, complete exhaustion, or some combination of the two, but it's taking me extra time to do everything. as it stands, i've been up for 5 hours now, and i haven't even gotten fully dressed yet, haven't eaten anything, and certainly haven't started on the paper i have due tomorrow. i just cannot get moving. all i want to do is sleep.

so, i'm going to listen to my body. i'm going to eat a little lunch and then i'm going to take a nap while i wait for salimah to call so we can hang out. the laundry can sit in its piles. the paper will get written tomorrow. right now, i need restorative sleep and more fluids. sometimes that's just what the doctor ordered.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

gotta have you

gray, quiet and tired and mean
picking at a worried seam
try to make you mad at me over the phone
red eyes and fire and signs
i'm taken by a nursery rhyme
i wanna make a ray of sunshine and never leave home

no amount of coffee, no amount of cryin
no amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
no no no no no, nothing else will do
i've gotta have you, i've gotta have you.

the road gets cold, there's no spring in the middle this year
i'm the new chicken plucking open hearts and ears
oh, such a prima donna, sorry for myself
but green, it is also summer
and i won't be warm till i'm lying in your arms.


i see it all through a telescope: guitar, suitcase, and a warm coat
lying in the back of the blue boat, humming a tune...

no amount of coffee, no amount of cryin
no amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
no no no no no, nothing else will do
i've gotta have you, i've gotta have you.

it's easter sunday and i got up early to bright sunshine and blue skies. yes, i thought, that's right. good friday the skies were angry and overcast. i fully believe that on easter sunday, it should be bright and clean. as a child, even before really understanding the meaning of the day, i remember daffodils and ribbons in my hair and sunshine warming my skin and somehow i knew that was as it should be.

i wasted no time this morning waking up and setting about the things i needed to get done before leaving the house in a bit. laundry's churning, cookies are baked, breakfast still in my tum (eggs, biscuits), and i'm listening to the weepies. i cannot get enough of them these days. their melodies make sense to me on a visceral level, and they remind me of what it is that i want and where i want to be.

all day today, i've thinking about a place that once represented sorrow and death becoming a source of peace and hope. there was once a tomb inside of me, too, i think....a well of sadness and loneliness and pain. but the one who transformed that tomb in jerusalem has changed the place inside of me and given me dreams and hope and the will to want things i never knew i could have. and one day i'll get there, even though my path might look different than some others'.

i've never been very good at following the masses, and it seems i'm still not. but this isn't really about them, is it? it's not really about what anyone else thinks. all the matters is that in some small way, i've seen that empty tomb and i know that some day it will all make sense to me.

in the mean time, there are some more things i still need to walk through. grad school is almost over, and then the next big project begins. and i know what i hope is waiting for me around the next bend in the road. looks like i need to get some new shoes for the next leg of this journey. it might prove to be a bit rocky, but like i said, one day i'll get there.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

in the wee small hours of the morning

it's 4:30 a.m. and i've come to a conclusion: no one should be up this late/early. it's just not a good time of day for doing stuff. honestly, i was asleep. i just woke up and couldn't go back there, so instead of lying in bed feeling frustrated, i got up and meandered down the hall to my office. so, let's see...since we're here together, i might as well tell you a few things, internets....

1. now that i've moved my furniture around/gotten new stuff, i really want to paint. i'm pretty sure this will NOT happen because a) i don't have the time to deal with that right now and b) the fumes are no good for me.
2. i need an oil change soon.
3. in particular, i should get an oil change soon, because i'm going to charleston, sc, in 3 weeks or so to visit my dear nigel. i love that i will be in the land of sweet tea for a few days.
4. i've been thinking lately that my days of city living have a shelf life, and i'm becoming less and less tolerant of the idea of urban dwelling. not that i have any grand plans for today, mind you, but i just feel like i can't stay here forever...nor do i want to.
5. one of my coworkers is pregnant, and it occurs to me every few days that she's actually growing a human man-child inside of her. trippy.
6. i am not sleeping well lately, as i'm sure you can tell....
7. i can count multiple nights this week where i didn't eat dinner because of homework and then found myself awake and ravenous at 2 a.m.. this is not contributing to #6 either.
8. i consider #s 6 and 7 a problem.
9. i have rediscovered my love for old school strawberry preserves. they still might be my secret, underdog favorite for pb&j sandwiches.
10. i think i'm getting hungry.
11. enough of that. i need to clean out my desk drawers and reorganize my papers. it's actually starting to get on my nerves.
12. i have ella fitzgerald's version of 'the boy from ipanema' in my head. it's splicing and interspersing with 'evening' by eric roberson. interesting....
12+1. i just found out that domino is discontinuing its magazine production. bummer. but at least i got an awesome tote bag out of the deal :D.
14. once i get done with grad school, i have a list of items that i want to accomplish asap, not the least of which is to start ripping my entire CD collection so i can load up my ipod properly. i find myself craving random music that i own but don't have electronic copies of. sometimes you just need to hear 'love is a battlefield,' you know?
15. my grandmother keeps making cameo appearances in my dreams lately. i wonder what that's about.
16. today i got to watch some kids running in circles looking up at the sky, and i actually felt a little jealous. i don't remember the last time i did that.
17. in order to make up for #s 6 and 7, i want to take a nap later and make a good dinner. it's all about restoration, baby.
18. i really only drink cabernet these days (if i'm drinking wine, that is).
19. my beloved JT was on oprah today. it actually made me tear up a tiny bit to see him.
20. i've made it to 20 and suddenly i'm sleepy. i feel i should go capitalize on this.
21. goodnight (again)!

Thursday, April 02, 2009

jelly belly sours are not nutritionally valuable, fyi

before this day gets away from me, let it be known that i didn't eat dinner last night. unless you count some leftover rice at midnight after finishing homework. which i don't. or the jelly beans i ate while doing said homework. which i don't.

this morning i feel lethargic like there's no tomorrow. i have major deadlines and am, therefore, working at home today, but i'm just having a hard time getting jumpstarted. i swear, i'm so tired of talking about how i want grad school to be over, but it's at the front of nearly every thought i seem to have these days.

so i'm officially letting the world know that in three more months, you won't hear me whining about this anymore. i pinky swear.

in the meantime, however, i cannot make any promises.

here is my positive statement du jour (must make sure to get at least one of these in): i'm hanging out with my dear friend melly tonight (we're getting mari luna), and between now and then, i plan to eat some real breakfast to make up for last night's jelly bean debacle. onward and upward....