Monday, March 30, 2009

dear downstairs neighbors,

i have but two requests. here they are, in no particular order.

please, for the love of all that is good and kind, stop cooking delicious-smelling food at 10 p.m. when, quite frankly, i'm hungry from a lacklustre dinner i ate on the fly while reading something meaningless for homework. for some reason, your late-night feasting makes me crave stuffing like nobody's business. yeah, that's right. like stove top, out-of-the-box-and-on-a-plate-in-two-minutes stuffing. what is wrong with this picture? everything. ev.ry.thing.

okay, also, i can hear every word of your television program. how freaking loud do you have your tv turned up that the person ABOVE you can hear this? seriously, unless you want me to start doing some type of aerobics up here...or better yet, irish dancing (yeah, that'll really show 'em!)...please turn it down just a smidge.

and if you're not going to turn it down, could you at least call me the next time you're making fried chicken? pretty please?

thanks for your consideration,

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