Saturday, February 21, 2009

at this point, i could be a country song

blog world, i'll warn you: i'm a jumble of emotions right now. the last few days have been rough for me...like nearly crying at my desk rough. oh, nothing's wrong, per se; i just have way too much to do and the weeks of pushing too hard are taking their toll on me physically and mentally. every day at work, i look at my face in the bathroom mirror (not the most flattering lighting, i know), and what i see staring back at me is slightly bloodshot eyes and dark circles and i just keep telling myself that maybe if i keep hydrated, things will get better.

yeah, because water will fix my stress level. sure.

so then i go back to my desk and try to zone out to some tunes, but every song is all emotion, and i'm trying to keep mine pent up so as not to melt down. not super healthy, i know, but it's getting me through the week and it means the homework gets turned in on time.

so then yesterday was friday and i felt like i could finally relax for a few. (a huge paper due this week was already turned in, and it seemed that 1 of the monkeys previously on my back had removed itself.) somewhere in the midst of watching programming on HGTV, i fell asleep and had wacked out dreams about having house problems and weird real estate issues and what-not, and when i woke up, i felt the pressing stress of money woes on my shoulder blades.

so i went to bed. and proceeded to sleep like a log (which i needed). and then i woke up kind of late this morning, went into the bathroom to shower, took a nice, luxurious stretch, and felt every single muscle in my mid-back tense up like it had a point to prove. apparently, i slept horribly wrong, and now i'm on a heating pad with some major ibu pulsing through my system.

and did i mention i have to write a 15-page paper this week?

Monday, February 16, 2009

dear blogworld, i have a confession to make....

...i love 'reality' programming and i'm probably never going to give it up.

seriously, this is the best time of year for me, because all of my favorite shows are either on or are about to be on. american idol is about to be in full swing, the biggest loser is getting really good, jack bauer has already taken several people down on 24, that angry man from hell's kitchen is cussing people out, tom colicchio and team are about to pick another top chef, and the bachelor is about to pick ANOTHER wrong woman. again. really, it's so awesome.

and besides, can you blame a girl? it's winter time, i have no one fun to hang out with, and school is a drag. so sue me.

now if you'll pardon me, i'm off to watch my DVRed programming. happy monday!

Sunday, February 08, 2009

'and then there's morning; each one feels like the first one....'

my head hurts. i have too much to do. tomorrow is monday already. i wish i were somewhere reading a book and drinking something warm under a blanket. i missed my sunday afternoon nap. this paper won't write itself. i miss you.

but

it was almost 70 today and the sun came out. i made delicious lasagna with a friend from work. i'm wearing flip-flops. my dishes are done. i bought red grapefruit. there are a few more hours until bed, so once i finish this paper (just do it!), i can read for awhile. my down comforter is soft and pillowy. there are harmonies and melancholy voices in my ears.

i still miss you.


'when i get back to the city
everything's cluttered and pretty.
i won't regret my return.
i'll just remember the wind and the snow
and the howling so loud
that it alone drowns out the inside of me.'

Sunday, February 01, 2009

a whole bowl of super

well, here we are again. it's sunday night, and i should be sleeping, but i'm awake, of course. this is because i napped today. when will i ever learn?

but you see, it's because i have an excuse. i was out very late last night at a beautiful friend's awesome wedding at which i drank a "bit" too much rum. (i blame it on the ukranian who plied me with free drinks before i brought 'sexy back' out on the dance floor with a host of friends and strangers.) apparently i am a dancing machine. who knew? actually, i wasn't truly busting a groove the way my friend's cousin was. i informed her and her sister that he was, in fact, a 'modern artist.' all i'm saying is he was doing these very interesting things with his fingers and the rum made it even better.

so, after i got home last night, i washed up, drank a bunch of water, took a huge ibuprofen tablet to stave off the aches, and drunk dialed my coworker to tell her all about my evening. (this is, of course, after leaving 3 messages for other friends in which i believe i informed them that i adored them and that i was, in fact, intoxicated.) again, i'm not entirely proud of myself for this, but that captain morgan really did sneak up on me.

whatever.

so i slept in until 9:30 this morning after staying up until probably 3:45. less than 6 hours....not enough for me. so at about 3ish this afternoon, i put on a movie and promptly zonked out for a couple of hours. i needed it....more, apparently, than the laundry and tidying i had planned to do today.

i managed to wake up and take a quick shower in time for the kickoff of the superbowl, although i missed the national anthem (youtube, here i come). the game was awesome. i can't say i'm a fan of either the steelers or the cardinals (although that mark kurt warner is rather dreamy), but i found myself rooting for pittsburgh and was really happy for them when they brought it home. so, after more hydrating and a little follow-up homework, i'm going to take the book i'm reading (just got it yesterday), get into bed, and follow some fictional woman's life until i slip off into slumber. sounds nice, doesn't it?