Thursday, June 26, 2008

please take note: the other shoe has officially dropped.

my head is a jumbled mess. i'm not kidding when i say that there are literally 13 different trains of thought all trying to run full speed ahead through there right now. and you know what? i'm not even sure i have enough track cleared for one good one. i feel burned to ash. i'm really not sure that i have much more to contribute to the GNP (or anything else) at the moment.

will i be all right? sure. i'll be fine. i always am. but it's going to take more than a weekend to make me that way. ever since the spring when i completed my horrendously demanding marketing course, i have felt like i'm nowhere near the top of my game. it's affecting me in every area of my life, and i hate the way that feels. and what's worse - i don't feel like i have the resources to get myself out of this place, because sometimes there is nothing more that can be done but to let things grind to a halt for awhile and just rest.

the funny thing is that i've been greedy with my free time of late and have basically been doing a whole lot of nothing (or so it seems) and yet NONE of it has helped. this is how i know that it's time for something more drastic to occur.

so, unless something changes before august 25 and some spring magically re-enters my proverbial step, i'm leaning heavily in the direction of taking a term off from school. eight weeks. it might just make all the difference. i hope it does, because i can't go another year feeling this thinly spread. i just can't.

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