Tuesday, May 27, 2008

the keyboard is mightier than the sword.

tonight i got a phone call from a dear friend from middle/high school...without question one of my favorite people from back in the day and someone for whom i always had so much respect. we haven't spoken in about five years, so we had much catching up and reminiscing to do. although we're both older and maybe a little bit wiser, it felt as though little to no time had passed....i love that. what's more, i so appreciate being able to connect with people who, despite all the craziness of that era in my life, managed to see through the facades and get me. there are so few people who deserve that distinction, but how comforting it is when you find it all over again!

in addition to all of the above, we also talked about writing a bit. the timing of this is particularly interesting, as i have recently been turning over thoughts in my mind about this nagging feeling i've had for years: i think i'm supposed to write a book. i'm not sure when, and i'm still not 100% sure whether it should be a novel or a nonfiction piece, but it's been brewing in there for about 10 years, and at some point in the future, it's going to find its way out of me. funny how lately it's been bubbling up, and then i have this conversation during which my friend said something to the effect of this may very well be your calling, sarah.... well, now, wouldn't that just be interesting?

anyway, the question of the night (and no, i cannot believe i'm still awake) is when do you throw caution to the wind and just plunge into the unknown? hmm. my answer has, in recent years, been right about now. we shall see. we shall just see....

Sunday, May 25, 2008

techneurotic

a.k.a. the incredibly anxious adventures of me and my absent mind....

i've had quite an interesting, mostly fabulous weekend so far. i had been thinking for some time of getting an LCD HDTV and i finally bit the bullet and got a 32". in the process, i also decided to upgrade my never-really-that-great 5-disc DVD/home theater carousel and get an HD upconverter single disc model (samsung). because i have no stereo of which to speak in my living room, i added a recycled receiver (thanks, dad!) so that i can watch movies and shows in full stereo sound, as well as continue to play CDs and whatever else through something other than my TV speakers.

yesterday's trip to BJs yielded the aforementioned tv, and salimah and i spent last evening and part of this morning watching the entire sixth season of 'sex and the city' in preparation for seeing the movie next weekend (we already bought tix online). when i finally got myself together and headed to best buy to pick up the DVD player (and another HDMI cable for when i upgrade to an HD cable box), i went through the whole she-bang of making a decision (no small feat for me) and going through checkout, except that at the last minute i couldn't find my wallet in my purse. as i was rifling through my bag, i jokingly said to salimah, 'i hope my wallet's in here,' but as soon as the words left my mouth, she remembered seeing my wallet on the dining room table at home. i had a single check left in my register, but they wouldn't accept that without a license (which, of course, was also in my wallet)....so, ticked as i was, i had to leave the order at the counter, drive the 15 minutes back home, get the wallet, and return to best buy to complete the purchase.

what should have been a simple, 30-minute jaunt turned into more than an hour of angst. i'm so glad i went back to the store, though. there's no way i could have made it through the evening without feeling agitated that i didn't have what i went for in the first place. i am ALSO rather glad that i had some homeopathic anxiety/stress remedies with me. i popped some of those bad boys in my mouth and let them dissolve as i drove up and down the same roads for what seemed an eternity. i swear, i felt like such a dolt....but at least i was a dolt growing calmer by the minute.

i tell you - the work of a single girl with technical needs is never done. thankfully i am fully armed with happy pills, techie gurus (and dads) to ask for advice, and a best friend who's willing to ride the road with me - sometimes more than once.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

good night....goodnight

i'm having one of those nights where i want to take a shower before bed. i'm a shower-in-the-morning kind of girl (and believe me, i'll still be taking one tomorrow morning), but i just love that freshly bathed, warm and relaxed feeling that only a nighttime shower can bring. turn off the lights, fire up the candles.....lovely.

the weather has been cattywampus, not being able to decide if it wants to rain or beam sunshine. it's kind of maddening, yet on the days when i'm trapped inside an office, i kind of like being able to see life whip by outside the windows like that. sun, rain, wind....let it all come. it helps me to remember that my little tasks are not the only things going on in the world.

i'm very busy still...not sure when that will ever stop being the case. i feel bad, because i haven't been in touch with a number of my friends in awhile. i'm sure they must think i'm ignoring them. i wish i could explain how much energy it takes to break out of my daily routine and make a phone call sometimes. sure, i still talk to salimah every day, but doing that is like breathing. it's just something i don't think about. and i still call home a couple of times a week to check in on my 'rents, but every other call that i make or e-mail that i write is something i have to remind myself to do. it sounds so foreign for me to say that, but it's just the way my life has become. i keep trying to focus on the fact that there's only 14 more months of this, and then i can get some freedom back. oh Lord, haste the day!!

there's a 90-day write-on calendar on my wall that is grossly out of date, i have papers that need organizing, and there is (as ever) laundry to be done, but tonight i am thinking only of stealing a few moments of quiet and rest....releasing some tension under the hot spray of water....tucking down under my down comforter and closing the curtains on the world for a few hours before it all must begin again. tonight, i am scarlett o'hara personified. i shall not think about the worries of today....tomorrow has time enough for my thoughts and stresses. it can all wait.

Monday, May 19, 2008

in which a fairly innocuous post about my stomach ailment turns into a social commentary on beauty and celebrity

i wound up working @ home today. yesterday i ate something that freaked out my system, so it was best for all concerned (me especially) that i stay on home turf. i think i'm feeling a bit better now; all the ick seems to have passed away. and despite all of that, i got a lot done today, which is a good thing.

in other news, i have nothing pithy to say. oh, well, i did discover that kimora lee simmons looks like a completely different person without her make-up on. let that be a lesson to the teeny-boppers (i can't believe i just said that) who think that there is such a thing as perfection in hollywood: if you had your own hair and make-up people dolling you up on a daily basis, you, too, could probably be on the cover of some slick, air-brushed magazine. i'm just saying.

this comes as no shock to anyone, of course, but you know, why can't people just be who they are without all the glitz and glam? oh right, i forgot....then we'd have nothing to throw our money at.

nevermind. i take that back. we would find something else to throw our money at. there's always something else.

okay, enough of sentences ending with prepositions. i've shamed myself publicly. i'm going to sleep!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

this is what i get for thinking too hard on a sunday

not 15 minutes ago, the sky was dark and foreboding and rain poured down onto the streets as the wind whipped about. now, however, the sun is beaming, the leaves are verdant and there are birds gleefully chirping outside my window. this is some kind of weird spring day we're having.

so, it's sunday, and i'm getting that old familiar feeling of having to go back to the grind tomorrow. salimah and i were out and about earlier; i got some groceries and picked up a prescription at the weg, and then we went to the bux for some coffee and just to sit and chat and take pictures with our camera phones. i'm quite sure that i should now be doing some homework to get a leg up for the week. will i or won't i? that remains the question du jour.

for dinner tonight: some crab-stuffed tilapia (wegman's made), zucchini, and some whole grain melange i bought at trader joe's a few weeks back. in all likelihood, i shall watch some episodes of 'sex and the city' and perhaps prepare a few things for breakfasts this week. oh, who knows? maybe i'll just sit on my rump and do nothing. also a viable option:).

in other news, i've realized that, when it comes to relationships i'm becoming more and more practical and fiscally minded the older i get. things that used to seem preposterous to me are now filtering through my brain and being slotted in the 'reasonable' column (because you know, one must always categorize one's thoughts and ideas...separate the wheat from the chaff....that sort of thing): prenuptial agreements, separate bank accounts, eloping, casual relationships, etc. i'm not saying that i no longer believe in love and commitment and all of that. really, i still do. i just think that one must be reasonable and must not allow sheer emotion to rule the day. heavens!

okay, i think i'm having some sort of jane austen attack. must go do something not quite so heady. grad school homework....yes, that's it.

ttfn!

Friday, May 16, 2008

hard to say

it's friday morning and before i dig into another LONG day of work (i have a deadline to meet today), i just wanted to say that dan fogelberg is perfect for a quiet, rainy morning at home. i have always loved him, but in particular, since his death this past december, i find myself wanting to hear his dulcet tones.


you do your best to keep your hand in play
and try to keep the lonesome blues at bay
you think you're winning, but it's hard to say sometimes.....


i know that simon cowell dissed david archuleta this week on american idol for singing dan's song 'longer' (which the producers picked, btw), but come on....it's a classic! i continue to submit that the 70s produced some truly fantastic music. cheesy or not, it was good stuff.

anyway, assuming this mellow stuff doesn't put me into a coma by 10 a.m., i am going to plunge myself into the pool of waiting work. let's hope i don't drown:).

Monday, May 12, 2008

monday evening's post, in which i admit that i am a complete cheeseball

it's 8:41 on a rainy monday night. it's been unseasonably cold here today (in the 40s), and i'm desperately sleepy. unfortunately, i've got pages to read before i sleep (thank you, robert frost) and very little motivation to allow my weary eyes to peruse them.

dinner tonight was so tasty. since being out in the world made me feel less than awesome today, i decided to make something a little spiffy, so i did my customary roasted butternut squash with cinnamon (tossed with orange-scented cranberries and fresh spinach after coming out of the oven); israeli couscous with herbs; and a deep, rich, saucy chicken with red wine and mushrooms. i did the dishes after dinner (yay, me!) and am now blogging to avoid reading. what else is new?

see, the truth is that i'm afraid if i go sit down to read, i'm going to fall asleep, and i really don't feel that i need that to be happening. see, there are two reasons. one is that i'm extremely studious and i would hate to miss an opportunity to do my homework (snort!) and the other? well, um....thebachelorfinaleisonat10! okay, there i said it quickly, so perhaps you won't decode it and find me dorky. well, who am i kidding? i'm a complete goober. i can't help it. i got sucked into this season. he's british....so sue me.

anyway, i should go and get SOMETHING done. *sigh* there is no rest for the weary, the wicked, or those in grad school.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

my mother...

...is the oldest daughter of an oldest daughter of an oldest daughter.
...is (as my father calls her) the true 'goodbye girl.'
...always had boxes of heels in her closet that, as a child, i tried on whenever she was out of the house.
...loves opals.
...ran behind my bike to teach me to ride without training wheels (even though she herself had never learned).
...has always been ballsy - so much so that it sometimes horrified me as a child, but i have proudly turned into her (and sometimes even kick it up a notch, i am sure, much to her chagrin).
...cannot resist listening in to other people's conversations in public - especially if they're juicy.
...used to read the menu aloud to me at restaurants, even though i could read every word.
...coined the phrase 'hellooooooo' long before billy crystal made it famous in 'city slickers.'
...is still a new yorker in her heart.
...will always be a dancer in mine.
...is quite a good sport when we tease her and takes great joy when we can all share a laugh (in love, of course) at her expense.
...tells lots of stories, even when you're not in the room.
...is so much like my grandmother, some days it makes me cry.
...made her parents proud.
...has a huge heart, especially for those people that no one else pays attention to.
...is strong in so many ways, and yet i feel very protective of her.
...has the most amazing work ethic i have ever seen.
...is and always will be THE hr guru.
...charms all my friends and has adopted several of them as her 'daughters.'
...helped me through more childhood homework crises than i care to admit.
...still goes out of her way to help me out, even though i'm a full-fledged 'grown-up.'
...will always smell like home to me.
...writes me the best e-mails.
...tells me how proud she is of me (and means it).
...encourages me to be proud of me, too.
...is one of my dearest friends and confidantes (and i do not take this for granted).
...doesn't know how amazing she is.
...will never know how much i love her. never ever.

nevertheless, i love you, mom. happy mother's day.

Friday, May 09, 2008

jill scott's vibes are making me sleepy

of course it could be the cocktail i had with dinner tonight, but that's neither here nor there.

i have homework due in an hour, and i'm just so tired, i feel like i could drop.

today was a less than stellar day, but my one consolation is that it's the weekend:).

i promised a friend at work i'd bake him something for monday.

this means i have to go to the store.

who am i kidding? i'd go anyway? i apparently live for grocery shopping.

i have officially given up on jill scott right now and have moved on to sister sledge's 'we are family.'

classic.

Monday, May 05, 2008

in all sincerity....

...if you want something that will rock your world, run (do not walk) to the nearest grocery store and pick up a container of 0% fat fage (pronounced fah-yeh), return home, open the fage and place it into a bowl, drizzle some honey onto it, sprinkle it with some chopped walnuts, and go to TOWN. i'm telling you - you will never feel quite the same about yogurt.


you, processed, fake-flavored yogurts out there, you're dead to me. do you hear me? dead to me.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

unprecedented

i know, i know. two posts in a day? what's up with that?

i just had to say, though, that i just had a very protein-packed dinner and it made me happy. what was that, you ask? well, i took a tortilla, smeared it with fat-free 'refried' black beans, white meat tuna, and a bit of low-fat cheddar, put its partner on top and dry grilled it in a pan (with just a smidge of canola spray) until it was nice and crispy-brown; hacked it into four pieces, and dolloped each quarter with a bit of low-fat sour cream and some frontera peach-mango salsa. may i say? quite delish. just the brain food i needed to finish up a paper i have due tonight.

that is all.

i heart berries and jay-z

i've come to some conclusions:

  1. i feel sluggish. i want to revamp my eating, which has sucked since i started grad school.
  2. while my musical taste is rather eclectic and fun, and while i often lean in the direction of folksy, acoustic-driven stuff, i am also really interested in some lyrical genius the likes of which can be found on jay-z's black album.
  3. i feel that i should try some type of 'bare minerals' kind of make-up. if anyone has any experience with any of those products, please inform me immediately!
  4. i'm in no way geared up for this new semester, which is already painfully underway. i will muddle through, however. i cannot break my own stride, even though what i want to do is take a break.
  5. although i don't prefer the heat, i'm so glad it's getting to be a non-winter season. it's salad and sandal weather:).
  6. i should watch baseball more often.
  7. i can't imagine growing my hair out again. it annoys me.
  8. i'm over american idol.
  9. speaking of tv, i want one with a flat-screen.
  10. i think i love people who 'get it' best of all. there is nothing in the world like NOT having to explain what you mean.

know what i mean?