Saturday, January 19, 2008

it's just two steps back this time

let's see.....let's see.....where was i?

ah yes....

so, this past wednesday i had an MRI of my foot....well, of my 2nd toe joint and of the space around it, more specifically. i had to lie very still, flat on my back for nearly an hour, which is something i never do. i don't like to lie flat on my back, and someone telling me to be still is a surefire way to make my muscles twitch - no doubt.

anyway, after 45 minutes or so, the technician came into the room (thank God) and instead of unstrapping me and letting me up, she started asking me whether or not they could inject some contrast into my veins to get even MORE pictures that might be just a bit clearer - and oh, i would have to lie there only another 15 or 20 minutes. by this point, i was in so much pain (my back had seized up and was cramping), i was about to cry so i said no thanks. i left feeling completely exhausted and tense and wondering how long it would take to get the results back.

so, i arrived at work and after sitting there for 3 hours with a wall of solid tension going from my waist up to my neck - and a resulting headache that was making it hard to concentrate - i packed up and worked from home for the rest of the day - sitting on the heating pad, i might add.

and i'm SO glad i didn't agree to the additional 20 minutes of torture, because to add insult to injury, on my way home (a mere 3.5 hours after leaving the radiology center), my doctor's office called me to tell me that nothing they were looking for showed up on my MRI. i can still hear her words: it showed nothing. they just floated out there into the air and hung, suspended, waiting for me to do something with them.

but what can i do with that, really? *sigh*

so it's back to the drawing board....back to going in and having a cortisone shot every once in awhile....back to the shot taking the edge off the pain for a few weeks and then it creeping back slowly - or quickly, as the case may be - such that every step is wincingly uncomfortable until it's time for another shot....

i'm not happy. can you tell?

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