Monday, May 28, 2007

"hi, what about our breakfast??"

this is a direct quote from salimah, who is bothering me to no end to feed her (apparently her arms are broke). she would like you all to know that, "with her detox regimen, it's very important for her to eat right away." i can attest to this, as last night, she nearly gnawed off my arm.

anyhoo, my new favorite song is 'makes me wonder' by maroon 5. i'm actually obsessed with it. and furthermore, i'm craving sushi on a daily basis. just thought you'd want to know.

these are the only updates i can provide the world at this juncture. i am now going to feed the beast. interpret that how you will.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

lately

i'm about to run out the door because i'm going to work early this morning, but i've been marinating a few thoughts in my head for the last couple of weeks, and i think they're ready to come out now.

you know, the last few months of my own life have been marked by a certain level of disappointment. no, let me correct: the last year. i'm not sure precisely what's been going on in the grand scheme, but the day-to-day has felt largely like drudgery. i know i've hinted or outright stated this before, so forgive me that this isn't 'news,' but in light of the events of the last 6 weeks, this statement is even more true.

in addition, some of my friends - salimah especially - have experienced quite a bit of confusion, frustration, sadness, etc. over the events of their own lives this last year, and the tension seems to continually mount with little to no resolution. and at the end of the day, i keep coming back to the same thing in my mind: this is just another day in a long series of days that will be either good or bad or some mixture of both. in short, it IS what it is.

i'm starting to feel like there are times where there is a lesson to be learned and times where one just has to keep LIVING and not dwell too much on what's happening. i have always been the type of person to attach a decent (okay, huge) amount of significance to nearly everything in my life...a real purpose...and i'm just not sure that's always wise. life isn't a novel or a movie or a sitcom...or anything accurately resembling any of those things. in fact, that's why we're drawn to them, really - because they almost always work out a lot neater than real life ever does.

maybe it's been a form of self-comforting that i've used throughout my life to make it through some particularly difficult times. maybe it's true and i'm just becoming jilted. or maybe it's neither and i'm being overly analytical. that wouldn't surprise me, to tell you the truth.

i guess what has really meant the most for me in terms of application and getting on with my life, though, has been this new sense of 'going with the flow' that i never seemed to have in the past but which i've had to adopt this past year. my coworkers have noticed it in the way i approach my work. i'm less anxious. i'm less affected by things. and this is for the better, considering how i once was.

my new code of conduct for myself involves being utterly present in what's going on and yet in no way in NEED of any given scenario, because i find that as soon as i truly feel that need, things seem to dissolve before my eyes. i'm not giving up; i'm just refusing to give IN and let anything overwhelm me. and as a result, i'm able to enjoy things more for what they are and recover more quickly when they turn out to be something different than what was apparent at the beginning.

in short, maybe i'm growing up a little bit more. that's not such a bad thing, considering i'll be turning 32 in 6 weeks. i know i always come back to this point, but it really IS just one foot in front of the other, over and over. keep walking. keep seeing what there is to see. keep hoping that i make it to wherever i'm meant to wind up. i will. i must. that's the point, isn't it?

Sunday, May 13, 2007

leisure

this weekend has been a balm to me. friday kicked off with the office crab feast (and thankfully we were under a cover so that i didn't get crispy like last year), after which i picked up salimah, we hit chicken out for a quick, cheap dinner, and then we came home to watch a movie (i fell promptly asleep).

saturday morning, we got up early because i had a hair appointment first thing (i love my hair just after it's freshly chopped). then we grabbed some sushi and salad from trader joe's, came home and munched while we watched a truly stupid french film, and then later got ourselves together and went over to my friend vanessa's for a cookout with her boyfriend and family. it was a truly relaxing evening...good food, good conversation, adorable babies (nearly 2, actually) to smile at. i managed to get caught in a torrential downpour after i dropped saliamh off at her place and despite accidentally flinging my keys onto the ground and getting my boot and the left half of me rather wet, my purse (and hair!) stayed dry, so all was not lost:).

today i woke up early, ate some breakfast, took a nap, and have been doing freelance ever since to the backdrop of some fun movies i've seen before. i need a day of complete downtime to gear up for yet another very busy week ahead.

i'm off now to elevate the foot, drink some water, and find more typos. maybe someday i'll have something less newsy to say. 'til then, happy mother's day!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

so check it

i'm into lists and snippety updates lately, people. deal with it:).

my foot is a hot mess. today when i took off my brace, i had this weird band of swelling running up from my ankle to my 4th toe (which is in the location of the theoretical stress fracture). my 4th and 5th toes are now kinda cold (swelling will do that to you), and my other foot is starting to act up again. i swear. my feet are like rivalrous siblings!

in other news, tomorrow i have some painters coming to cover up some water damage (AGAIN) in my apartment. this is only the 4th or 5th time this has had to be done since i moved in 3 years ago. can i say? i'm over it.

furthermore, in the grand tradition of salimah and i living essentially the same life, i, too, do not understand men and their ways. they confound me. maybe they always will. i dunno. i'm just thankful that the week is more than half over and i don't have to figure all of this out tonight.

in a lovely twist, my friend ness and i wound up at one of my stomping grounds tonight for dinner - the little mexican place up the street from me. their shredded beef enchiladas (with red sauce, of course) are off the CHAIN, as they say.

oh, and then on friday of this week, it's the company crab feast. no doubt some gut-busting moments will be had at that soiree. for now, though, i'm off to beddie-bye and to think about the possibility of a life that makes a tad more sense than the one i'm living right now.

finally, in the ongoing spirit of non-sequiturs: haircut on saturday. i'm no longer looking cute, so we must rectify this problem. chop it!

Monday, May 07, 2007

in brief

okay, wow. so, i'm going to be 32 in just under 2 months, one of my little cousins (not so little anymore, really) and a college friend are getting married soon, i'm wearing (as devika called it) a storm trooper boot, i'm still working way too many hours, and i've been called for jury duty in baltimore city next month.

that's just about all the news on my end.

oh, and i'm officially ready to pack my car and drive somewhere far away....even if just for a long weekend. i need a break. a good one.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

das boot

okay, so it's been a crazy week. i've been ridiculously busy work-wise, going to bed as early as possible, and today i found out that i likely have a stress fracture in my left foot. as if i didn't have enough problems with it already! so basically, i'm in this for the next 2 weeks:


um, yeah. can i just say - i'm not happy about this!? it's not comfortable to walk in, and basically, unless i'm in the shower (yes, that's right, i have to wear this to bed), i'm supposed to have it on 24/7. ugh.

anyway, the thought of having to run errands (or do anything else, really - INCLUDING walk up the 3 flights of stairs to my apartment) is rather daunting right now. needless to say i cried a little after i left....

can i please catch a break here? please.