Friday, December 29, 2006

irreplaceable

you know, growing up, i was always a girl that would pick a sappy love song over one of those 'screw you, i'm leaving' kind of anthems. in fact, i never really understood why some women didn't just give love a chance...why they had to be so angry...why they wanted to tell the whole world that the next guy had better check himself before stepping up to the plate.

beyoncé, who is in a committed relationship (currently anyway) with jay-z has this to say in her latest pop hit:

so since i'm not your everything
how about i'll be nothing?
nothing at all to you
baby i won't shed a tear for you
i won't lose a wink of sleep
cause the truth of the matter is
replacing you is so easy


you must not know bout me, you must not know bout me
i can have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby
you must not know bout me, you must not know bout me
i can have another you by tomorrow
so don't you ever for a second get to thinking
you're irreplaceable

at the age of 20, i never could have imagined something similar to those words coming out of my mouth. in fact, even up until a couple of years ago, i wanted to give other people the benefit of the doubt....to not give up so easily when others seemed to hesitate....to wait while things got figured out.

okay, well, i'm over it.

i mean, i haven't turned into an angry woman who blasts en vogue songs from her car stereo (a little 'never gonna get it' anyone?), but i seriously do NOT have time to be waiting around for someone who can't make up his mind...who isn't sure how he feels...who doesn't know if he can 'handle' this or that or whatever. i have seen this happen to myself and my friends time and time again. and i'm putting my foot down.

it has meant that my interactions with people are very much 'what they are' with very little 'what they could be.' i hold things with a much more open hand. i can, in most cases, 'take it or leave it.' and it's not that i don't care - far from it. i'm just not interested in investing my heart into relationships that have no chance of going anywhere. because the truth is - if you don't want to love and care about me, someone else will. and so maybe you're unique and all of that, but you're not really the only one who can fill the position.

so, i've started realizing that these women have been saying something all along that i actually needed to hear. don't take less than 100%. and anyone who's touting crappy wares? let him keep touting - elsewhere. i don't have the 'money' to invest in such things.

you can know one thing for sure with me: if you invest in me, you will get a return on your investment. i don't do anything half-hearted. if i love you, you won't ever have to question it. but i'm going to be more selective from here on out when choosing the recipients of that love.

so go ahead and get grown, men of the world. stop wasting your time while good women are moving on with their lives without you. i suggest you figure yourselves out and go prove just how irreplaceable you really are....

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