Thursday, November 30, 2006

the end of the road

well, in another hour, november will be officially over...and with it comes the end of nablopomo. it's been a fun experience for me, and it's made me realize that being disciplined about writing - even if i don't really have much to say - is a worthwhile endeavor. i mean, this isn't really news, i guess, but this experience has reinforced that understanding even still....

this evening has been kind of weird. i'm nursing a rather pervasive headache and some muscle pain, so i'm not feeling super well. also, i ate a strange dinner of a smart ones meal and some sauteed edamame and corn with cheddar. it tasted good, but i think it wasn't the best idea for me tonight.

in more upbeat news, we drew names for secret santa at work today. i always love finding just the right gifts to surprise and delight my pal. this year's choice is actually kind of amusing and ironic, but i'm gonna have fun doing the whole thing anyway....

oh, and bella is doing marvelously well. she's even getting herself a bit of a fan club at my job. honestly, i'm not surprised that people can't resist her. she's just far too swell for her own good:).

so, i guess with that bit of newsiness, i'm going to head off to dreamland. for those of you who have stuck with me over the last 30 days, i hope you'll continue to drop in from time to time. and i can pledge in return that i will blog as often as possible (interesting or no).

and the final verdict? sarah 1, nablopomo, goose egg!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

gravy

okay, since it's before 11 p.m., let me try and sum up my life.

to recap, although a woman hit my car last night at the cathedral of mary our queen, there was absolutely no damage done, so i'm not pursuing the matter further. besides, i was a tad stern with her, and she apologized. i was a bit incredulous, still, but what more can i do? it's not like i was going to go all cujo on her hind parts.

this weekend was just divine. after scoring isabella on friday evening, salimah and i took a late-night ride around (one must christen the new vehicle) before coming home to zonk out. saturday we drove out to frederick and had lunch with my mom and dad, who were on their way home from the family gathering in pa. afterwards, we hung out with two of my other gal pals that evening and had wine and appetizers and talked the night away. sunday, i got a bunch of work done in the morning and then s and i went to see 'stranger than fiction,' which was just fantastic. really, if you haven't seen it, i'd give it two thumbs up. and what's more, it's a fun movie to deconstruct afterwards over dinner, which is just what we did. conveniently, there's a california pizza kitchen right across the parking lot from the theatre, and we had a lovely, relaxed meal before calling it a weekend.

i went back to work on monday feeling rather rested, because although i had done a lot of different things, i didn't have to travel anywhere far, and i've realized in recent years, THAT is what exhausts me. getting to sleep in my own home is just better for my body, mind, and soul. don't get me wrong - i love to travel. i just wish i could bring my bedroom with me wherever i go....

so, let's see, not much else on tap for the next couple of days except poetry group on friday night. between now and then, i'll just be doing the usual....work, more work, some tv, a bit more work, then sleep.

but don't you worry. the month ain't over yet. i'll still stop by here at least once till thursday:).

oh, and in case you're wondering, the thanksgiving leftovers are finally gone! talk about accomplishment....

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

ringing in the season

tonight, i went to see this.

other than the fact that an older lady hit my BELLA in the parking lot (!!), it was a lovely evening. oh, and don't worry. she's perfectly fine. not a scratch or bruise on her. close call. thank God.

i'm off to bed.

Monday, November 27, 2006

please don't be mad at me, blog world, but i've found myself in the place again tonight where my brain is mush and i have nothing to say except goodnight and goodnight and goodnight....

but just to let you know, my bella is doing wonderfully well. my seats were very cold this morning when i got in the car, and she rectified that in under a minute. i do love her so....

so sleepy. i'm off to dreamland. let's try again tomorrow night, shall we??

Sunday, November 26, 2006

so much to say...

...so little time before bed. i'm actually too tired right now to blog about everything that's on my mind, so please believe me when i say that i'll fill you in tomorrow.

in the meantime, i'm watching the new show 'trial by choir.' very interesting....

Saturday, November 25, 2006

isabella grazia

please say hello to my new very good friend bella....



isn't she lovely?

Friday, November 24, 2006

recovery

yesterday's meal went off without a hitch. there was more food than anyone knew what to do with, and it all turned out rather well (if i do say so myself). here's what we had:

brined turkey breasts with an herb rub
homemade stuffing with sausage, dried cranberries, sage, pine nuts, and other goodies
mashed candied sweet potatoes and butternut squash with pecans
macaroni and cheese casserole with buttered breadcrumb topping (salimah's family tradition)
kicked-up green bean casserole with caramelized shallots and portabella mushrooms in a red wine sauce
cranberry sauce with oranges and a few liquor enhancements
hot rolls
fry bread (salimah's sister made)

for dessert:
dutch apple pie (gotta thank marie callender for that one)
pumpkin-gingerbread trifle
carrot pie (salimah's mother made)

and to drink, we had an assortment of wines and this yummy rum punch i made that i am still drinking today (and actually, is it wrong that i had some with breakfast?)

you know, the funny thing about days like yesterday is that no matter how full you get, there's always a need for replenishment after a time. good lesson for the day. for life, really.

and i'm out.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

way more than turkey

in honor of the day and because i do not cultivate an attitude of gratitude nearly enough, i present you a small list (by no means exhaustive and in no particular order) of things for which i am thankful today....

1. freedom
2. having some dear friends with whom i am truly close and who have let me in to their lives in a significant way
3. financial stability (no matter how transient)
4. the love of a Father who is far more steadfast and long-suffering than i could ever hope to be
5. the clarity to understand who i am
6. an apartment full of memories and lots of little things that make me happy
7. plenty of food to eat (you should see the refrigerator, stuffed with today's dinner)
8. parents who love me and whom i'm proud to call my friends:)
9. a sound mind and a heart that is open to hope
10. the dream of something even more than all of this

happy thanksgiving, all. may this day find you truly blessed with an extra measure of all that brings you joy....

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

countdown to bird

it's the day before thanksgiving (for those of you who aren't paying attention), and i'm starting to realize how much cooking i have to do....it's gonna be fine, but there's always that nervousness that comes before you've actually started. i'm sure that once begun is half done (at least i hope).

last night, my dreams were strange and filled with ex-boyfriends, all of whom i was trying to arrange to let stay at my parents' house. and in the midst of that, i had agreed to bake these incredibly elaborate cakes (that included piped marzipan) for all the students who went to a particular school (thousands). i was feeling a bit overwhelmed to say the least....

so, now that i'm awake, i'm going to try my best to just relax, take deep breaths, and make it through today without any snags in mood or energy level. and, i'm endeavoring to remember, with thankful heart, that our turkey day feast includes just seven of us, and there's not a piping bag in sight....

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

brief update

okay, sleep last night was AWFUL. i wound up staying up for 'heroes' and then fell asleep during it, went to bed shortly after, and woke up at 2:30 a.m. with a HORRIBLE headache. i got out the heating pad, laid my neck and head on it, and took several advil (i'm not sure - i was in a stupor).

in more pleasant news, it seems like my blog post from last night FINALLY went through. ridiculous.

also, i'm considering getting a new car. stay tuned.

Monday, November 20, 2006

major pain where i don't need one

i have tried posting three times, and both of my other posts disappeared. who knows if this one will work.

anyway, tonight i'm trying to muster up my best efforts to work, but i've got a wicked headache. all i really want to do is go to bed, and it's quite a tempting idea, despite the fact that i want to watch 'heroes' at 9. i'm going to take some advil and see how long i can make it.

in the mean time, anyone care to place bets on whether this will post?

Sunday, November 19, 2006

sloppy joe...slop-a-sloppy joe

i watched '50 first dates' for the umpteenth time today, and it only further confirmed the fact that i love adam sandler. and the song he sings for drew barrymore's character in the movie (lucy) has the best line....

forgetful lucy
cracked her head like gary busey


i ALWAYS get that part stuck in my head (and right now is no exception). sometimes i even catch myself singing it out loud when i'm doing little random tasks (hanging up my coat, washing a pot, putting on my socks).

which reminds me...adam is the author of the beloved thanksgiving song. listen to it here. and of course, it couldn't be outdone by this.

(i would like to acknowledge that there IS, in fact, a part of me that is clearly a 12-year-old boy.)

enjoy!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

over the hump

so, now i have passed the halfway mark of the month (by 3 days, actually), and i've managed to stick with this nablopomo endeavor. honestly, is it too early to feel a little bit proud of myself?

i must admit - i'm actually enjoying feeling this committed to blogging in a way that i haven't in a long time. who knows - maybe i'll try and keep this up beyond december (stranger things have happened).

for now, though, i must go get ready to leave for bethesda. i'm meeting friends at jaleo for lunch, and then i'm off to no va to hang out with a dear friend from back in the day.

the sun is shining, my stomach bug is gone, and my car is all fueled up. it seems, in life, that there's always a bit of adventure waiting around the next turn, and i intend to go and find out what that is....

Friday, November 17, 2006

bottle of red....

i stopped off at a wine and spirits shop on the way home from work today to buy a gift for a friend i'll be seeing tomorrow. while there, i spotted some good deals on spanish reds, so i got myself a couple of bottles to try. by the time i got home, i was feeling like tasting some, so i uncorked a bottle (it's 20% cabernet and 80% tempranillo, if i remember correctly). as soon as the wine hit air, i smelled cherries. this can never be a bad thing. i'm telling you - this wine is so delish....very smooth, not heavy, nice undertones. leaves a very clean finish. i'm so pleased. and it was only 9 bucks on sale!

so, the plan for MY evening is to finish this glass of wine, eat a lean cuisine, and try to stay awake until bedtime. i really need to do laundry, but i'll be honest - it may not happen at this point. i'm relaxed...and i feel i deserve that.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

life lesson: roy g. biv

this afternoon, after torrential rain poured down on baltimore for hours and hours, a huge rainbow broke out in the sky. i mean a full, 180-degree arc. and then there was a partial double rainbow on its outside edges. and then, in a moment of what seemed like cinematographic genius, this flock of birds flew through the blanket of sun and clouds, and they were completely illuminated...glowing, even. my coworkers and i stood in the parking lot, transfixed, for a good 15 minutes or so....it was stunning.

the rest of my day was a mixed bag....i left two windows open in my apartment and had to call my rental office to come and shut them (knowing, full well, that i had piles of dirty laundry in my bedroom waiting for the wash - how embarrassing!). i also had a major freak-out that involved a jag of uncontrollable sobbing (i think it's about to be that time of the month - i'm not normally prone to such things). plus, i've been eating a mostly starch diet until my stomach bug fully abates, and i think it's making me grouchy.

but it was during those moments of standing in spitting rain staring at the sky today that i remembered myself as someone who is alive. it astonishes me how infrequently i look up...how often i forget to just wait and observe. i needed the object lesson, in the midst of the madness....the neon sunset after such a storm....the quiet hum of my nearly dark apartment before sleep....the reminder to breathe in, breathe out, be.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

elton john didn't even KNOW

after dropping off one's graduate thesis and eating a meal of steak frites at a local café, there is really only one thing for two thirty-something girls about town to do on a wednesday evening: sing, triumphantly (and with the windows down), the line from the elton john classic we all know and love....

'HOLD ME CLOSE NOW, TONY DANZA....'
i understand fully if you think i'm a huge cheese puff when i make the following statement: i'm seriously invested in who wins 'dancing with the stars' tonight...so invested, in fact, that i voted online using multiple e-mail addresses. i know. it's a sickness. but at least it's almost over....(for awhile anyway. don't forget that american idol starts up in january - as does 24:)....)

it's been kind of a weird day otherwise, but i frankly don't feel like getting into all of that. let me just say that i've been thinking it through and, if i had a few select people in front of me, here's what i'd say:

1. i miss you.
2. i wish you'd call me.
3. i'm sorry i never called you.
4. i'm sorry i never wrote you back.
5. i'm just sorry.
6. are you even kidding me?
7. please stop the madness.
8. yes. yes. a million times yes.

okay, so now that i've been vague as can be, i'm going to the post office. peace out.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

viscera

one thing that never ceases to amaze me is how you can have an experience, move forward with your life, grow and change for many days/months/years, and then your life presents a moment that mirrors that original experience, and you're right back there, emotions and all. for me, it is music that takes me on journeys like that, and today was no exception.

for me, the moment was late winter/early spring of 2005, sitting in the balcony of an exquisite hall listening to dvorak's new world symphony. today, in my ears, i heard the melancholy oboe, and it nearly tore me in two.

and what shocked me the most was all that came with the memory...and the fact that it still mattered so much to me....

Monday, November 13, 2006

micah 6:8

i feel like a shepherd who's sent his sheep out to graze and cannot remember what pasture he put them in. seriously, it's a mess inside my head. there were moments today when i thought i'd drive myself mad....but then this came to me, plain as day:

He has showed you, o man, what is good.
and what does the LORD require of you?
to act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

ask me—have i been doing that lately? not very well, my friends. not very well. i really needed some clarity today. more than anything, that is what makes me well...what nourishes my sometimes worn out soul and reminds me of who i am.

and i gotta tell ya, even despite everything, that's not bad for a monday....

Sunday, November 12, 2006

slug in the city

okay, so the day is nearer to being over than not, and i really haven't gotten as much done as i had hoped i would. i mean, yes, i made some green tea muffins (trader joe's mix), loaded and ran the dishwasher, worked on freelance, took a nap, and watched a movie, but i can't help but feel like a slacker.

oh, and i also went through some mail and shredded a bunch of credit card offers (i love my shredder!). plus, i had a grilled turkey and provolone sandwich with a layer of cranberry sauce tucked inside (really good, but i still don't feel very well) for a late lunch. i would contemplate dinner, but i don't particularly want to eat anything else. i don't have much of an appetite just now, and i'm trying to roll with it.

i must say - i'm not loving the fact that tomorrow means back to the grind, but until i absolutely have to leave my home, i'm going to hunker down under some blankets and listen to the rain and wind swirling furiously outside my window. it's drafty in my apartment, but there are a few thoughts keeping me warm tonight, not the least of which is that i am loved beyond measure...even if i am a lazy bum.
maroon 5 knows what i'm talking about....

so apparently the days of balmy weather are over. this morning, it is dank and overcast and makes me VERY glad i went grocery shopping last night. in fact, i can speak from personal experience to my gladness, because i just had to go out in the ick to retrieve the rest of my nonperishable items from the trunk of my car, and being out there for even 2 minutes was unbelievably unpleasant.

with that being said, i'm now drying off in the comfort of my cozy, dimly-lit apartment and loving the fact that the whole of sunday stretches out before me with possibility. heck, i'm feeling so good about it, i might even bake something!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

i'm feeling listy.

here we go....

1. salimah's thesis is pretty much finished. it's been such a long process, i feel like i should get a master's degree along with her:).
2. i'm writing this blog entry with dan fogelberg's 'leader of the band' as a backdrop. classic.
3. i was supposed to go out for sushi tonight, but i can't really stomach it (literally).
4. it still amazes me how much fake bling makes me happy—even on a saturday spent kicking about at home.
5. salimah and i planned out our thanksgiving day menu. i can't wait to get cooking!
6. i've had some epiphanies in the last day or so about my perspective on 'belonging.'
7. i'm having some weird attachment to old oprah magazines. i think i need an intervention.
8. next weekend i'm slated to have a tapas lunch with two old friends.
9. i'm making a late-night grocery shopping trip tonight to wegman's. i'm actually rather stoked.
10. i'm NOW writing this blog entry with the song 'it's hard out here for a pimp' from the hustle and flow soundtrack as the backdrop. not classic, per se, but a whole different kind of fun.

i got nothing left. see ya sunday.

Friday, November 10, 2006

the brewer's art

tonight, i spent the evening just as it should be: out to dinner with friends, enjoying lovely food, good wine, and conversation that had even fellow patrons drinking that extra cup of coffee just to make sure they heard the end of one trail or another.

now, unfortunately, i'm feeling a little less than stellar. oh well....no matter. i still must tell what i ate:

fig and goat cheese crêpe (that had been fried crisp)
braised beef short ribs with a mushroom-potato concoction (all i know is that there was cream involved)
lemon tarte with fresh berries (it was TRULY a tart tarte - so citrusy and delightful)
pinot noir (a light and smooth complement)

honestly, right up until the moment that i started to notice that i was in pain, i was loving that kind of evening that only single women can have. it was, quite simply, the perfect entrée into the weekend (pun very much intended).

Thursday, November 09, 2006

while it is still called today....

i've tried concocting a blog post three times tonight but have come up with nada. so now that there is less than 5 minutes left of thursday, i'm putting a li'l something out here just to acknowledge that i am, in fact, still participating in nablopomo:).

sometimes there's not much more to say than that.

oh, well, i DID speak too soon about my stomach issues being resolved last night. after my last blog post, i had a minor relapse. but today seemed more even, and i actually managed to eat some turkey and a banana, both of which are decidedly non-carby items [read: not saltines].

i watched the break-up tonight. not the best film ever, but i'm a fan of vince vaughn and jen aniston, so it was a rather enjoyable hour and 45 minutes of my time.

and now that the clock is about to strike midnight, i'm OUT.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

it bears mentioning

today's blog title is a nod to my best pal, because only she will get it, but either way, it's still applicable....

(in no particular order...)


  • the more serious elements of my illness seem to have mostly passed, although i'm still dealing with vestiges.

  • my nails are so long, i almost feel like i have fake ones (this is so unusual for me - you don't even know).

  • i'm a huge, unembarrassed fan of 'the biggest loser.' it makes me feel like i want a theme song to play whenever i do something particularly swell or triumphant.

  • my foot is seriously hurting.

  • this election has made me realize that i care way more about politics than i ever thought i did.

  • lately, when i get very flustered, i've taken to lisping (not on purpose).

  • i got a flu shot today and, surprisingly, i've had very few side-effects.

  • i'm kind of obsessed with drinking slightly frozen grapefruit juice, and as soon as i can tolerate acids again, i'm running out and buying myself at least 3 bottles.

  • i mean it. my nails are really long.

  • long nails go well with fake bling.

okay, that is all.


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

thank God for saltines and ginger ale....

well, it seems that i'm nearly out of the woods from my stomach ailment (although not fully - the nausea and stomach cramping still come in waves from time to time). i did go back to work today, and i felt rather proud of myself for making it through the day without getting violently ill (yay me).

that's pretty pitiful, actually.

in other news, salimah and i did round 2 of thesis brainstorming. it's coming along rather nicely, i feel.

also - and, yes, i understand how TRULY random this is - i have the song 'breakout' by swing out sister (just the chorus) LODGED FIRMLY in my mind. may i just say - life is cruel sometimes.

Monday, November 06, 2006

my stomach is a mess

i feel nauseated and wretched this morning, so i'm at home, trying to nurse myself back to health with some fitful sleep and advil (because my head is also pounding). i'm about to go make some hot tea, but i fear it's not exactly what i need.

i'm not psyched about a week that starts off this way....

Sunday, November 05, 2006

words get in the way

after a several-hour-long thesis revision session with salimah yesterday afternoon, i managed to get nothing done that could be considered by most people as productive. i mean, sure, i napped, but i didn't wind up doing any editing. oh, and i burned my dinner (but you best believe i ate it anyway).

today, on the other hand, i've been a little editing machine. and i've even managed to sneak in a viewing of the prizewinner of defiance, ohio, which - i must say - is QUITE a charming film. julianne moore does a great 50s housewife. i think this is at least the third movie of hers in which she plays that exact role. anyway, i thoroughly enjoyed it. an enthusiastic two thumbs up.

i just looked at the clock and realize that i have about 6 more hours of working until my eyes will, in all likelihood, give out, so i'm back to the grind.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

life is short. eat peanut butter first.

while my dinner of turkey tenderloins stuffed with a dried cherry/cornbread/cashew stuffing is finishing up in the oven, i (being the hungry, early lunch eater that i am) am relishing a bowl of reese's puffs. not health food, mind you, but delightful every so often.

and while i am on the topic of healthful bits, i would like to announce that my skim milk tastes suspiciously like the cardboard carton from whence it came. not ideal, i can assure you.

since i've had a delicious nap on my new mattress, the plan for the evening is work, work, work and maybe a bit of movie-watching as a backdrop. whatever it is, it must go well with technical manual jargon and the scratching of my red pen. i'm thinking something with mark ruffalo...i find him marvy.
morning has (not quite) broken

UGH! i tried several times last night to post yesterday's entry on time, but blogger was giving me problemos (and, i might say, this has been happening much too frequently of late). so now it's 6:20 a.m. and i thought i'd try again (and it worked, apparently). but why - you may ask - am i up this early on a saturday morning? well, to be honest, i just had this auditory dream that freaked me out. i am telling you - i heard one loud RING of a phone (which is especially odd, since i don't have a regular phone anymore) and then nothing. it was enough to actually wake me out of what, to me, felt like a dead sleep.

in more pleasant news, i'm getting new mattresses today. a coworker is selling a practically new set of them - in the size of my current bed - and it was too great of a deal to pass up. my current mattress is 10 years old (i bought it right after college), and it's just DEAD. and my back...my poor back...has been suffering because of it for quite awhile now.

SO, this will at least tide me over until i decide to upgrade to a bigger bed someday (if/when i can ever afford it). and, in the meantime, i plan on getting my SLEEP ON....

but for now, i need a shower and some hot tea. the sun's not even up yet. *shudder*

Friday, November 03, 2006

it's friday, i'm in love

okay, well, not really. i just had that in my head for awhile today. but i must say, i'm practically in love with friday and all that it entails. i mean, who doesn't love getting to leave work for two WHOLE days? there's that anticipation i get every week....the feeling that anything's possible. i swear, i'm so 'old musical'-oriented that the one line from that song from the sound of music always runs through my head: 'what will this day be like, i wonder...'

yes, it's true....weekends, even busy ones, hold that much promise for me.

i need to get out more.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

raising the bar

in a strange twist of events, it's storytime here at always greener....

once upon a time, there was a girl who always wanted to be married. she wanted it so much, in fact, that she considered its possibilities with every boy she ever met. even the ones she didn't like that much. (she later learned that this was, in fact, a result of her raging insecurity, but that's outside the scope of today's story.)

the girl settled for relationships in which she was not very high on the priority list, because she felt that if someone didn't make an honest woman out of her by the time she was twenty-one, she might implode. (really, she felt it MUST be true.) but, as things often go for girls like this, none of her relationships came to fruition.

around the time the girl was about to turn twenty-one, she met a boy who made all of her come to life. something about the things in his heart seemed so well-matched to hers that she was all too happy to overlook the multitude of practical things standing in the way of the two of them marrying and living happily ever after (not the least of which was a family who was strongly against this union). the girl thought that finally, something real and good and 'forever' was happening in her life, and so what if it took another year or two past twenty-one? she was going to have her dream-come-true after all!

BUT, the boy with the shining heart turned out to be more scared and broken than the girl even realized and, after a year or more of agony, things ended...badly. and then hope glimmered again after a bit more time had passed...and then they ended again...even more badly than before.

the girl walked away from the situation bruised and bewildered, wondering how it was possible that someone so 'perfect' for her could turn out to be so wrong. hadn't she waited long enough? hadn't she tried to be all the things she knew to be so that he would love her back? didn't she deserve something good - something real and beautiful?

for the next few years, the girl's heart slowly mended, but even despite all the time that passed, she never forgot the boy. she couldn't. no one else came even remotely close to meeting her gaze the way that he did. when other boys spoke, she could see they were funny or smart, but none of them had the spark that made her light up like that boy. you see, the bar had been raised for her, and she knew that whomever she would eventually marry would have to be as good...or BETTER...than the boy who had stolen her heart those years before.

after some time had passed, the girl found a lovely boy and they began a slow but progressing relationship, talking of marriage and children and all the things the girl had always wanted. and while she felt excited by this and hoped that maybe...just maybe...things would turn out in her favor this time, the new boy still didn't make the bar. don't misunderstand, though - she wanted him to. she wanted SO much for him to be the one who would finally match her MORE than the first boy. but he never did. and what was more difficult was that, in the mean time, the first boy married. the girl had her answer: it would never be after all. never, ever.

after five years, the girl's relationship ended. and, of course, her heart began wandering back to the first boy...to the things he was...and wondering what might have been. but something about the girl had changed. she wasn't that same helpless, needy soul she had once been. she was so much stronger, self-assured, even, and she didn't look at every man as a potential mate now. and, what was more, even though the bar had not moved from its place, she was beginning to know deep inside of her that the first boy wasn't really what she wanted after all. she had grown past that place, those desires, into someone who knew she deserved more than that. and she also started to realize that someday, someone would come and surpass that first boy. she found it a little hard to believe, but her hope told her it was so....

so, she began to wait.

eventually, just when she least expected it, a boy did come...and not just quietly, but barreling into her life...and before the girl knew what hit her, any thoughts of that bar were practically foreign to her. the new boy had shown her things and opened her eyes in ways that she couldn't have anticipated. the girl was dumbfounded. she almost didn't want to believe it could be so, but maybe her heart had finally found its match after all?

sadly, the girl was met with more disappointment...and a heart more bruised and bewildered than before. but again, something new and strong had taken hold, and even though she was sad and she cried quite a lot, she also KNEW that she would be all right. and the hope - which, really, was much wiser than she - reminded her that someday, there wouldn't be a need to raise the bar...that someday, all the things she was supposed to have would come together. but until that time, the girl was to carry on, holding the hope around her to keep her warm when the world felt especially cold and lonely (as it often does).

and whenever the girl sits in her quiet apartment, she realizes that, these days, it isn't so much that she just wants to be married (all imploding aside), but more that she wants to share all the years of hoping and changing and growing with someone who was doing all those same things while waiting for her somewhere in the world. and when she finds him, they'll raise the bar together.

the end.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

bling in november!

so, after work today, i had an appointment with my friend ness to go to the mawl and get some random stuff. so, she went to macy's and i headed to williams-sonoma so i could get these two cake pans i've been really needing. after those minor errands, we were on our way out when i spotted this fun purse/jewelry/accessories store i like, and in we went. now, normally, i don't purchase things when i go in there. i just ooh and ahh and wish i had the guts to wear some of the fun stuff.


but today, i decided to throw caution to the wind and just go for it. so, here's the watch i bought....







i also got two rings with huge stones. unfortunately, they don't have pics of them on their web site, but one of them looks suspiciously like this....



it may not be real, but people, it's super fun, and i've got mad shine the likes of which i assure you i truly, truly deserve....
november 1

here's my first nablopomo post. i'm still not up on the list as of last night, but perhaps that will change on the list!!

i awoke at 5:15 this morning on my own. i don't know what's up with me these days, but i kind of like it. it's amazing what happens when you cease activity after about 8 pm. it gives your brain time to shut off for the night so you can actually rest. at least, this is my theory for now.

gotta get ready for work. must be out the door in 20 minutes.

happy november, peops!