Saturday, July 29, 2006

okay, so i'm, like, super boring, in case no one has yet noticed (although i'm sure everyone has). my entire life has been consumed of late with this blasted illness, and because i've had precious little to say, i haven't been up for writing much.

but let me sum up (you know how i love the list as an entity):

1. my bff has a jones for a literary lion (with a great smile).
2. i had some medicinal shots of jameson's last weekend, and you know - it wasn't half bad. (then again, what do i know? i can't taste anything.)
3. i had dinner with some gals from work the other evening, and it was such a chick experience (replete with talk of waxing and other girl things), it nearly made me want to paint my toenails.
4. i'm obsessed with the gnarls barkley song 'crazy' and the john legend/snoop dogg collaboration 'i can change.'
5. i lost 4.3 pounds this week without even trying. (i hope this doesn't mean that i actually have something that is killing me slowly.)
6. i'm planning a secret trip with someone artistic and fantastic. (ooh, that sounds mysterious!)
7. i smile a bit more often these days.
8. that about does it for now.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

well, as it turns out, i have a major sinus infection, and i'm now on all kinds of drugs - antibiotics, decongestants, and steroid nasal spray and inhaler. honestly, thank God for patient first. it's annoying to go in there and sit and wait for (sometimes) hours on end, but at least i walk out of there with some prescriptions in hand.

i'm two days out from starting the meds, and i'm not feeling that much better (but i'm hopeful that time will be on my side in this one). yesterday, salimah and i went to hear a friend play down at a bar in fells point, and i tried my first shot of irish whiskey, for medicinal purposes, of course (it cures what ails ye). afterwards, we came home and watched 'fun with dick and jane,' which i enjoyed quite a bit, actually....

so, tomorrow the week begins all over again. not much else to report, except that i will be SO relieved when i no longer have to carry wads of tissues with me wherever i go....

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

yeah

okay, so now i am basically deaf in my left ear. yeah. i'm not even totally kidding either. the clogging has moved around in my head and it's like a sound tunnel in there. every time i chew anything or breathe or anything, it echoes inside my head. seriously, i am acoustically sound.

now then, it was not the best day ever. i won't go into it here, but it just wasn't. trust me.

and i'm thinking that i may cave and go back to the doctor and beg for some more antibiotics tomorrow night. how depressing is it that i've been sick for almost 2 months?

super. duper. depressing.

Monday, July 17, 2006

top 10: recap of my weekend

1. nose blowing
2. watched the orioles beat the texas rangers 8-1 from club seating (not the sky box, as i had originally thought - but still VERY nice)
3. ate some bland-to-me food - most likely due to the fact that i can taste NOTHING
4. slept late both mornings
5. nyquil:)
6. amy perbeck in from michigan: ridiculous fun
7. all balls, all the time (you had to be there)
8. belated birthday bling
9. did i mention nyquil?
10. sweating

yeah, that about sums it up.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

in summation

i'm not even going to beat around the bush here. my sinuses hurt. i've got pressure, discomfort, and some major ick up in there. a friend at work started calling me mucus girl. i know. it's gross, but i'm thinking i need an action figure.

in other news, my beloved amy perbeck is in town, and together, we are too fantastic to even believe. later today, we'll be going to an o's game with my folks (my mom got 4 free sky box tix!), so i'm hoping the weather holds....

really, very little has been going on in my life over the last few days, except that i'm trying for a new record of how many tissues i can run through in a 24-hour period. i'm thinking guinness will be getting a call from me any time now....

i'm off to watch a dvd of something amusing...chill out for a bit before i venture out into the heat later on.

how 'bout dem o's, hon!!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

and they're off....

over the course of the last 10 months of my life, it has become increasingly apparent to me that one just NEVER knows what's going to go down in life. i mean, there is always a degree to which it seems reasonable to make assumptions (especially educated ones), but even with that being said, one must always leave the door open for that certain something - or someone - that may come and rearrange the game plan at the 11th hour.

i cannot tell you of the numbers of people i know whose lives seemed firmly placed on a trajectory towards some end and then, when they least expected it, everything shifted. (this includes myself, by the way). people who were well on their way to marriage - or were, in fact, already married - now have no relationship of which to speak. or others who seemed utterly happy with where they were and then up and moved/left jobs/etc. almost without warning. i'm telling you - it's all just nutso.

and so, it is with deep breaths that i look toward a most uncertain (circumstantially, anyway) future and say, without equivocation that all bets are, in fact, off from this point forward. i hereby lay all my preconceived notions down and pledge to STOP making assumptions. it's just really best for everyone concerned to take it one day, one hour, one step at a time. anything else would be just premature.

and besides, knowing what i know about me, sometimes being utterly in the dark is the only way to go. it helps you know exactly what light is when you finally come upon it.

Monday, July 10, 2006

carolina in my mind

hey y'all. i'm back from a week away in asheville, nc, with salimah and my folks. sorry for not writing sooner, but frankly, i needed 24 hours to just sit with myself back in this city once again before really interacting with the blog world. to be honest, i'm super bummed to be home. in fact, the concept of 'home' changed for me while i was away. i started to feel like our little mountain cabin was where i should be starting each morning and ending each day. and other than inadequate lighting on the first floor and poor cell phone reception, the place was simply ideal. warm, comfy furniture, wood everywhere (even my bed was made of logs!), quiet surroundings, lovely view (all trees). oh, how i miss it already!

i have never needed a vacation quite like i did this one (and i know salimah felt the same). i didn't miss anything of my real life and forgot, even, that i had asked a friend to check my mail. when she called to let me know she'd done it, it took me a full 30 seconds to figure out what she could possibly mean. now, to be fair, i also may have been in a nyquil haze (yes, kids, i got sick AGAIN while i was down there, and this time, it was BAD), but really, my world view had changed.

i journaled a bit while i was down there. tried to encapsulate bits and pieces of moments. perhaps i'll share them here, perhaps not, but suffice it to say that amidst the touring around, eating of yummy food, and learning about various aspects of our nation's history, i gathered up the crumbs of disappointment i'd been carrying around in the pockets and folds of my clothes, and i sprinkled them onto those mountains...left some things behind...let them go - i hope - for good. and in their place, i picked up bits of the smokies, the mountain air, the peace all around me. i drenched myself in it. i drank and ate and breathed it in until it seeped from my pores.

and two days out from the experience, i'm still carrying carolina around with me. i can still smell the cabin's wood on my clothes. my voice still holds a bit of the lilt i love so much. my speech and thoughts are slower, more at ease. i want to hold onto that place...to those mountains...and all the smells, sounds, feelings, thoughts, dreams, jokes, tastes - all of it.

in the coming days and weeks, i'm sure that baltimore will seem more like home to me again, but if you're really looking to find me around, know that i'm not so much here anymore. i'm in a little cafe drinking chai, reading a used cookbook, eating a piece of decadent, handmade chocolate, gazing at the mist over the mountains, and talking to some lovely southerner with miles of stories to tell. yeah, that sounds just about right to me....