Tuesday, June 27, 2006

keep it loose, keep it tight....

i know i've said this 100 times already (practically), but going to the gym is such solace for me. i just love knowing that i'm doing something for an hour that will not only clear my head of the day's gunk, but it will also exhaust me, make me truly hungry, and build my body in a positive direction. in fact, other than the onset of muscle soreness, there's really NOTHING negative about these experiences. i feel so out of sorts when i don't get my gym fix.

while on the treadmill today, i was reading an old issue of baltimore magazine and it hit me again that i live here....like, for real. and not only do i live here, but i live here alone....and in a very different mode than i was when i moved back almost 4 years ago (it was in june, actually). at that time, i really thought i knew where my life was heading, practically speaking. boy, was i wrong!

at this point, it seems pointless to speculate on the next six months, year, six years of my life, because chances are, the best laid plans of ME will probably go awry. this is why, i think, it is essential to have hope, yet hold onto everything with an open hand. grasping yields disappointment.

it's my goal to be ready for the next big adventure when it presents itself. to be open to possibility, even in the midst of clinging tight to what i already know. to let go of any agendas i still might have and fling myself headlong into God's plans for me. His are better than mine. this much i know for sure. but until everything shakes down like it should, i'll just keep on walking....

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