Saturday, October 15, 2005

debris

so many thoughts are swimming around in my head, it's making me dizzy. i just wish i could have one day where i didn't feel like my mind was a spiraling cloud of debris.

my apartment needs dusting and vacuuming. i have laundry to do. i'm meeting a friend for lunch. i need to read a book for my book club. i have freelance work that's been waiting on me for a couple of weeks. why can't i accomplish the things i want to accomplish?

okay, so clearly i'm a bit depressed. apparently all the recent activity in my life has been holding at bay the inevitable downswing of my mood. it's not horrid or anything. just more like ennui.

but let me tell you: ennui don't get the floors cleaned.

and for the record, spending the last two mornings crying on my way to work doesn't particularly help things either.

3 comments:

Devika said...

if you don't feel the pain now, you'll feel it later. And if you feel it later, it may be so far removed from the actual turn of events that created the sadness that it can become hard to resolve. So I think you are doing a good job of feeling it. You'll get to the point where you'll hate the disorder in your apartment and clean it up summarily. In the meantinme, let yourself grieve and be sure to let someone know if you are having such a hard time that you can't deal with it anymore. all the best!!!

Tim said...

:-(

Devika said...

How are you feeling? I haven't read anything from you in a while. Just checking in.