i'll be honest: i don't have the taste for 'good news' just now. i don't want to hear of joyous occasions, of babies and parties and the making of merry. it doesn't help. if anything, it proclaims my wound further open as the salt pours in, with a chaser of lemon juice for that extra sting.
and what is worse: today is my best friend's birthday, and i am unable to even muster up a smile and the feelings that one should be feeling on such an occasion...and all of that just makes me feel guilty.
so while i am here and while this moment is now, salimah, happy birthday, my dear. you are my unflagging support and my safe harbor when the storms of life are raging. i don't know where i'd be now if God hadn't put you in my life. and i pray that this next year of YOUR life is the best ever. i'm SO proud of you for all you've done and all that you're doing, and i will always be honored to call you friend.
memo to the world: until i feel like i can face my life again, i'll likely be holed up in salimah's apartment, scratching the ears of a furry friend named baby girl, and watching 'nsync videos while salimah tries to force feed me bagels and skim milk.
i'm not hungry for any good thing, really, but sometimes bagels are better than the truth.