Saturday, September 10, 2005

the end of the honeymoon

for the last week, despite my serious state of angst, i've still been able to sleep relatively well (not for long periods of time, mind you, but well). apparently that time has come to an end. the last two nights, i have been plagued with wakefulness. this morning - a SATURDAY, no less - i was awake by 5 a.m.. i tried courageously to go back to sleep, but to no avail.

and it's not like 5 a.m. is the time of day for calling friends and making a stir in an apartment where another person and furry creature are trying to sleep. so it was just me, alone with my nightmarish thoughts, the now-all-too-familiar burning in my stomach, and an anxious heart. i tried to pray, but it didn't do any good. all i could muster was a feeble God....

i know He heard me. it would just be so great if i were met with something other than silence.

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