Wednesday, June 23, 2004

and this is what i was....

'do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. and that is what some of you were. BUT you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.' (1 corinthians 6:10-11 - emphasis mine)

mercy, Lord...what mercy.

Friday, June 18, 2004

the 99 'most important' questions (courtesy of this guy's site

1. dark or light chocolate? dark
2. sunrise or sunset? sunset
3. black ink or blue ink? black
4. CDs or records? CDs
5. ballpoint or roller? roller, if it's a good one.
6. digital watches or traditional? traditional
7. fish or steak? BEEF, it's what's for dinner.
8. French or Italian? hmm....this is a toughie. italian.
9. bar soap or liquid? liquid for hands, bar for the shower.
10. vanilla or chocolate? vanilla with chocolate in it.
11. Muldar or Scully? i wasn't an x-files fan, but i'm going for scully.
12. black and white or color? for photos, b&w; for movies, color
13. Coca Cola or Ginger Ale? coke is it.
14. long or short fingernails? for men, short; for women, medium length
15. Mick or Keith? um...neither. they both skeev me out.
16. typewritten or handwritten? handwritten
17. lights on or off? on (i'm sure this question has deeper meaning, but i'm choosing the surface answer)
18. coffee or tea? tea
19. Rodan or Godzilla? eh?
20. cotton or silk underwear? cotton
21. black or white? both
22. glasses or contacts? glasses
23. morning or evening? morning
24. cats or dogs? cats
25. Bogart or Bacall? seriously, who cares about this?
26. dessert first or last? last
27. leather or wool? depends on the object. for a coat, wool, but there is nothing like the smell of good leather....:)
28. Doberman Pinscher or bulldog? yellow lab:)
29. rain or snow? rain
30. meat sauce or marinara? meat
31. John or Paul? paul
32. ice cream or sherbet? ice cream
33. Casablanca or The Third Man? i've never seen 'the third man' and 'casablanca' wasn't that great of a film.
34. peanuts or cashews? cashews
35. Boy George or Curious George? curious george
36. taste or smell? you can't have taste without smell
37. sooner or later? depends....some things are worth waiting for:)
38. trains or planes? trains
39. cut grass or woodsmoke? cut grass
40. lipstick or chapstick? chapstick
41. Frankenstein or Dracula? frankly, neither, but i guess dracula if i have to choose
42. khakis or jeans? hmm. it's a toss-up.
43. paperback or hardcover? hardcover
44. steam or sauna? isn't a sauna a steam room? i'm not feeling that. i prefer being in water.
45. video or TV? dvd all the way
46. subway or bus? subway
47. bath or shower? i like baths, but i still shower at the end of them
48. New York or LA? new york
49. e-mail or snail mail? snail mail
50. portraits or landscapes? landscapes
51. big mouth or big eyes? big eyes
52. books or movies? books
53. neat or comfortable? comfortable, which also involves some neatness
54. summer or winter? autumn
55. mountains or beach? mountains and ocean
56. silence or noise? silence
57. pants or skirts? pants
58. music or silence? music
59. you and I or me and you? you and i
60. long or short hair? long
61. perfume or perspiration? perfume, but only some kinds
62. comedy or horror? comedy
63. jam or butter? both:)
64. velvet or silk? silk
65. country or city? country
66. Persian carpets or hardwood floor? hardwood floor
67. cake or pie? pie
68. Monroe or Madonna? neither interests me.
69. wool or cashmere? cashmere
70. regular or premium? regular
71. boxers or briefs? boxer-briefs
72. garters or pantyhose? neither
73. car or motorcycle? car
74. bagels or toast? bagel
75. Hitchcock or Poirot? hmm....i like them both. i loved poirot as a child:)
76. red wine or white wine? red
77. beard or smooth? smooth
78. sail or swim? go swimming and then for a sail:)
79. modern or antique? if we're talking furniture, some of both. appliances, modern.
80. grass or sand? grass
81. movies or films? films
82. lemon or lime? lemon
83. bed or couch? bed
84. stockings or bare skin? bare skin
85. inside or outside? inside looking out
86. opera or rock 'n roll? jazz
87. sneakers or boots? sneakers
88. London or Paris? paris
89. flats or pumps? flats or chunky heels
90. pencil or pen? pen
91. crosswords or editorials? crosswords
92. cinnamon or spearmint gum? cinnamon
93. Old Star Trek or Star Trek, The Next Generation? ask michael:)
94. tent or hotel room? hotel!!
95. drip or espresso? espresso, but then make an event of it
96. rafting or boating? boating
97. elevator or stairs? elevator
98. convertible or sunroof? sunroof
99. love or lust? love

Monday, June 14, 2004

i'm fairly certain i do not have the words for this

if i could let you inside my brain, this would be so much easier, but i had a fantastic weekend. to the untrained eye, nothing 'earth-shattering' happened. i attended a conference in north carolina, ate some bbq, hung out with michael and my folks, and then came home. in my soul, however, things are different. i am different. my view of my life is...well....different.

i've known for awhile now that God has called me to minister to those who are struggling to know him but are held back by their hurts and fears. specifically, i feel led to reach out to those who are sexually broken. this would seem to include a lot of people - and it does - but i guess specifically, i have a heart for those who are struggling with homosexuality and/or the after-effects of sexual abuse. i know i haven't spoken very openly about a lot of my views thus far. perhaps times are going to be changing, because i do have things to say about these issues. and while my opinions are very strong, my beliefs are even stronger. and i do know one thing: God has all of this well in hand. not just my life, but the state of this country, and of all humanity. and there are those whose lives He has changed and rearranged - the once hardened hearts that have been broken by His cords of loving kindness. this includes people from every background, every experience, every nation, tribe, and tongue.

i'm so excited to see where in this puzzle i might fit. i'm looking into some opportunities to serve locally and am praying about where to go next. it's a daunting task, and much of the church doesn't want to deal with these specific issues head-on. but no matter, because i believe that God does, and in the end, He is the one whose opinion matters in all of this.

a lot of hatred has fueled a lot of hurt in this world, and there is a battle being waged even now. that hate may try its hardest to swallow all of humanity, but it is love that will triumph in the end. it is that love that drives me forward. love came here. love walked here. love lived and died and rose again.

love won out.

Monday, June 07, 2004

i have a weird scar on my hand

i'm not even sure why, but some little bump i had about 6 months ago never really healed, and it left behind it an even weirder bump. sometimes it fascinates me, and i wonder if, when i'm 80, it will still be there....

my grandmother's sister died last week, but i didn't get to go to the funeral, because i was completely exhausted by the new part-time job i'm doing. i had been up basically all night on thursday, and i realized something: i am FAR too old for this kind of behavior. gone are the days when i could stay up until the wee hours of the morning and then bounce back after one good night's rest. now, i feel groggy for a good three or four days on end. i'm recovering even still....

and in other news, i've joined a book club with salimah and some other friends. our first book looks to be a good one, and amazon should be bringing it my way any day now....

in other, OTHER news, i scored some fun stuffs at target yesterday for my upcoming birthday festivities, and i am looking forward to sleeping tonight.

and now, as randomly as i have come, i'm out....

Tuesday, June 01, 2004


exactly one month from today, i will turn 29. i will warn you (a.k.a., the 5 people who actually read my blog) that it's likely all retrospectives and reminiscences from here....