Tuesday, March 23, 2004

only you and you will get this

okay, so it's been awhile since i've blogged. sorry about that. i've been busy with a house guest - the illustrious amy l. perbeck - who has graced me with her presence since saturday and will be leaving me tomorrow:(....

all i did all weekend was cook and hang out with amy and the boy (not at the same time, actually). saturday night, i made creamy tamarind sauced salmon (yum!), roasted potatoes, and asparagus with lemon and butter. sunday, i marinated some steak in beer, lime, honey, and garlic (along with a bunch of spices) and then made fajitas and spanish rice. for dessert, i made cinnamon-raisin bread pudding with a whiskey-orange-butter sauce. all fabu.

other than that, i've been trying to unwind from the fiasco-like time we had at work last week. it's too much to detail here. suffice it to say that there was a coup and a subsequent reprimand and then further subsequent misery. oh well. c'est la vie, baby.

la vie, baby.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

putting out a feeler

i'm in the mood to bake something citrusy. any ideas??

Monday, March 15, 2004

tonight, for the first time ever, i conquered the cornish game hen. no, i didn't wrestle the little guy to the ground; i swathed him in butter and then roasted him (stuffed with a homemade buttery bread/herb/mushroom/cranberry stuffing); halfway through , i lacquered him with a balsamic-honey glaze. it was DELICIOUS. with it, we (michael and i) had a nice fresh salad with a cranberry-orange dressing. to drink, we had some belgian dark cherry beer. amazing. the whole meal was scrumptious, and i felt very satisfied by the fact that i managed to cook the birds perfectly - not dry, not underdone. the meat was tender, juicy....so good!!

in other news, i'm really nervous about going back to work tomrrow. we wound up having an impromptu meeting on friday to collectively 'confront' - in a way - my boss and her supervisor about the unrealistic, ridiculous demands they keep placing upon us. it was kinda scary and i really don't think it accomplished anything, but i'm more worried now about the potential fallout tomorrow. i'm SO paranoid around this woman; it's very problematic.

God, you're in control of this anyway; why don't i acknowledge that and just let it go??

i just SO wish i could stay home for another few days and hang out and just cook for michael. that would be so much more pleasant:)....ah yes, but the real world would still be waiting for me when the cupboards went bare.....


time for sleep....all will be new in the morning.

Monday, March 08, 2004

yeah, i'm okay

the end of last week was in no way fun for me. i felt like i was two IM conversations shy of a mini meltdown. and when things get to that point, there is very little - if anything - one can do to recover. i prayed. i read scripture. i prayed some more. nothing was changing for me.

friday night, salimah prayed for me. it helped some. and then i spent two days with friends. also helpful. but sure as the sun shines in the morning, last night i started freaking out again at the thought of having to go back to my job today. i just really felt like i couldn't hack it. but, you know, the bottom line is that we're in the middle of a deadline, i have no paid time off, and i need money, so that pretty much sealed my fate.

this morning, i got up 5 minutes before my alarm went off, went straight into a very hot shower, and all seemed okay with the world. and looking at my face in the mirror, i realized that this is my life for today. and today, i need to work it out. sure, it'd be ideal if i could just get an excellent, biblical perspective on my situation for every moment of every day, but the truth is this: i'm struggling to trust God, and some moments i'm trusting Him, and some moments, i'm just making it by with some rewards [read: goldfish crackers] and oases [read: bathroom breaks].

and some day (hopefully soon) it will be over and i'll move on to something else. and wherever i go will have its own challenges and stresses and moments of fun. but i can tell you this....

i won't be looking back.

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

hello, mr. dark cloud....

i'm in a bit of a funk. i don't really feel like talking to anyone just now. i'm not sure what my problem is. nothing happened. i'm not depressed; i just feel sad. like something is lost and i can't get it back.

and my dinner is churning in my stomach.

it feels like rain.