Wednesday, September 25, 2002

my nails are really short. i cut them down so that the white part is just barely visible at the edge of my fingertip. having longer nails doesn't really work for me - at least ones that i grow myself. for about 6 months, i had gel nails (done at a salon). i loved those things, but after awhile, they became cumbersome and annoying and expensive, and so just after the new year, i got them removed. i vowed that i would never go back to having them, but now that 9 months have gone by, every time i see a woman with a nice set of nails, it makes me long for the days when mine looked nice all the time.

here's the thing: i'm not a particularly frilly girl (in fact, i'm not sure i have any frill in me), but for some reason, having nails made me feel more feminine....i know that it's an artificial femininity, though, because i shouldn't need external adornment to make me feel that way. i've said it before and i'll say it again - in this post-modern, pro-"feminist" society, living as a Christian woman is an extremely confusing thing to navigate. contemporary Christian culture tells you one thing, the world tells you another, and somewhere in the fray, you're supposed to be able to hear God's voice whispering His desires for your life. sometimes it simply makes my head spin.

at the end of the day, having fake nails never solved anything for me....but for a few moments, i felt a little bit better. is that so bad? is it really any different than getting your hair done or putting on a little lipstick for color (which i know a lot of women do on a very regular basis)? i know that it is the fear of the Lord that truly makes a woman praiseworthy in God's eyes, and that charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting. but here's my question: what is it that contributes to a woman truly feeling feminine?

if only it were as easy as some plastic nail tips and acrylic gel....

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