Saturday, May 04, 2002

so i drove to baltimore last night KIND of on a whim. sammie joy and i went together. wound up running into gordon, local baltimore artist and friend of salimah's. got some fun beverages from xando (an old stomping ground) and drove back home. it was ALL about the random mini-road excursion. i didn't get into my actual bed last night until 5. apparently between 1 and 5, i was leaning against the arm of the couch completely comatose (ooh, alliteration!). salimah woke up and spoke to me on at least one occasion. i have NO recollection of this whatsoever.

anyway, listened to 'swamp ophelia' by the indigo girls last night. man, those chicks can seriously write. their music (with the exception of the more political album 'shaming the sun' (i think that's what it's called)) just speaks to me. and even though they're not writing about God, i feel like i can glean meaning from the songs....they speak to where i am in my relationships with God, with others, and the way i think about the world at times. either way, listening to them also brings back some serious memories.....college, high school, old friends long gone by now.....kinda sad. kinda good, though, too, because my life is, in some ways, so much more rewarding now than it was back then. for one thing, i know God on a much deeper level; also, the relationships i currently have are the deepest i've known so far. within the last year or two, i've started to get real with myself and, consequently, those around me. it feels good to live without regret, without compromise. talk about authenticity. isn't that what this is all supposed to be about?

i mean, this is not to say that i've perfected these things. in no way. but if each day, i can work harder to live with integrity, as God would have me live, then i can honestly say that i'm making progress....either way, my life has meaning. i've crossed over, people. and i can never go back.

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